Business

Housing market affected by houses being on fire

ESTATE agents are struggling to find buyers for Britain's increasing number of on-fire homes, it has emerged.

Four year-old girl to run Royal Bank of Scotland

FOUR year-old Gemma Logan has been unveiled as the new chief executive of the Royal Bank of Scotland.

Bad money thing make new scary time

BAD money thing make world have big new scary time, clever men say now.

Bannatyne invests £250,000 in the Reggae-Reggae Arm-Breaker

SCARY dragon Duncan Bannatyne last night said he was 'in' for 30 per cent of a funky device that breaks people's arms.

Barclays bonuses don't fall by 33% 'because that's not how it works'

BONUSES at Barclays will rise despite a fall in profits because that is just how the whole thing actually works, the bank has explained.

Last-minute US deal prevents certain death of everybody in world

THE violent death of every human being was prevented last night after some American politicians agreed to get some more money.

BSkyB changes logo to middle finger

BSKYB is to change its corporate logo to a manicured hand flipping off the whole world.

Apple tells ugly people to stick with PCs

BOUTIQUE computer giant Apple will no longer be selling its machines to the ugly, it has been confirmed.