Business

Boardrooms should be 14% Brazilian tranny

ONE in every seven company directors in Britain should be a Brazilian transvestite with a pronounced facial tick, according to a new report.

British Gas bullshit up 24%

THE nauseating bullshit British Gas uses to justify its vicious profiteering leapt 24% last year.

Don't suppose you could invite Gaddafi? BP asks Kate

BP has asked Prince William and Kate Middleton if there is any chance they could invite Colonel Gaddafi to their wedding in April.

Microsoft applies make-up to Nokia's corpse

MICROSOFT was today applying some rouge and lipstick to the dead face of Nokia.

Small firms urged to sell stuff to bankers

SMALL businesses across Britain could increase their profits by selling loads of stuff to rich bankers, it has emerged.

We spend £2.5bn getting our balls fluffed, say bank chiefs

THE increase in the bank levy could force senior bankers to cut back on luxury ball-fluffing, it has emerged.

Bankers blame capitalism for their arrogance

BANKERS have blamed the capitalist system for thinking they are better than everyone.

Oldham buys miracle health tonic

PURVEYORS of miracle health tonics and herbal hair loss remedies have compared Oldham to a 21st Century gold rush.