Business

Not enough graduates know about Freudian subtext in 'Alien 3', say employers

TOO many graduates have an insufficient knowledge of the psychosexual elements of the Alien films, industry leaders have warned.

Rail bosses pledge to improve infrastructure of their gigantic houses

TRAIN fare hikes are vital if rail executives are to double the size of their humongous homes by 2015, it was claimed last night.

News International cat incredibly far from bag

THE News International cat was at least 2,000 miles from its bag, it was estimated last night.

Housing market affected by houses being on fire

ESTATE agents are struggling to find buyers for Britain's increasing number of on-fire homes, it has emerged.

Four year-old girl to run Royal Bank of Scotland

FOUR year-old Gemma Logan has been unveiled as the new chief executive of the Royal Bank of Scotland.

Bad money thing make new scary time

BAD money thing make world have big new scary time, clever men say now.

Bannatyne invests £250,000 in the Reggae-Reggae Arm-Breaker

SCARY dragon Duncan Bannatyne last night said he was 'in' for 30 per cent of a funky device that breaks people's arms.

Barclays bonuses don't fall by 33% 'because that's not how it works'

BONUSES at Barclays will rise despite a fall in profits because that is just how the whole thing actually works, the bank has explained.