BASTARD factory HSBC has been fined £40m by the Financial Services Authority for failing to ransack old people's bedrooms.
THE global economy should be started again from scratch and everyone given £5,000 each, Mervyn King has claimed.
BILLIONAIRE embryo Mark Zuckerberg has expressed shock that his school project website hasn't broken yet.
GEORGE Osborne is to keep adding lanes to the M6 until everyone has money again.
A REPORT into executive pay has called for a radical reform of how wind is combined with piss.
RYANAIR boss Michael O’Leary is to end passengers.
GEORGE Osborne will use the £747 million from the sale of Northern Rock to bail it out again sometime next year.
POPE Benedict and Imam Ahmed Mohamed el-Tayeb would be a really horrible couple, it has been confirmed.