Business

‘Mild torture’ aids worker productivity

GETTING workers to stand up until their legs hurt can help them to know their place, according to bosses.

Identity of mystery Virgin tycoon revealed

THE reclusive tycoon at head of the Virgin corporation has been revealed as ‘Richard Branson’.

Wonga advert features only thing more terrifying than puppets

MONEY lender Wonga has replaced its menacing pensioner puppets with even more menacing dinner ladies.

Hipsters secretly plotting to ruin darts

HIPSTER entrepreneurs are planning to re-brand darts as ‘flechette’, leaked emails have revealed.

Coca-Cola to execute people who aren’t happy

UNHAPPINESS is now punishable by death, under new laws funded by Coca-Cola.

Stony-hearted Britons struggling to feel anything for supermarkets

SHOCKED Britons have found themselves at a point of 'supermarket compassion fatigue'.

False dawn as PowerPoint presentation skips to the end

STAFF on a training day were given a cruel flicker of hope when a PowerPoint presentation malfunctioned.

Chimps being groomed for your job

CHIMPANZEES are currently being trained up to take your job.