STUDENT loans have been sold to an extremely hard bastard who hates students and is into cage fighting.
A WOMAN has stealthily reinstalled taxi app Uber after a week of condemning it on social media.
CURRY restaurants are facing bankruptcy after a lettuce shortage means they have no limp salads for diners to disregard.
IN an act of unprecedented generosity, Britain’s train companies have confirmed they will never set fire to your house.
A LOCAL odd job man has admitted that some jobs are too big or small for him.
TESCO is buying Londis because they can charge 85p for a Tizer and up to £1.60 for a loaf of white bread.
THE only healthy person on his office floor is considering faking a chesty cough to fit in better.
THE length of time a person has been on hold to a call centre is to be reflected by increasingly furious hold music.