New yoghurt not that creamy

A NEW type of yoghurt is being marketed on its lack of creaminess.

Sainsbury’s had no idea social media storm would create publicity for its new meal deal

SAINSBURY’S has confirmed it had no idea that changing its meal deal ever-so-slightly would create a shitload of free publicity on social media.

Seasonal aisle in Asda takes moment to reflect on mortality

THE seasonal aisle in a supermarket is reflecting on the passing of summer into autumn and the inexorable march of time.

Apple not toothless crofter living alone in peat-burning cottage, EU rules

THE EU has ruled that Apple is not a kindly old crofter living in an isolated cottage in County Mayo, as it had claimed for tax purposes. 

Man back from holiday furious at his lazy past self

A MAN has returned to the office furious at how much work was left undone by his lazy bastard self from a fortnight ago.

Mothers don’t need money because they have the joy of children

MOTHERS do not mind earning a third less because having children is so wonderful, a report has found.

‘The Brexiteer’ pub chain launched

A CHAIN of pubs called The Brexiteer has opened for people who are jubilant about leaving the EU.

Olympics-themed office fun 'not fun'

OLYMPICS-RELATED office 'fun' only serves to highlight the shitness of work, it has emerged.