Business

Apple to reclaim the word ‘gimmick’

TECHNOLOGY giant Apple has launched a campaign to remove the negative connotations of the word ‘gimmick’.

John Lewis like a wrathful god

THE omnipotent John Lewis has descended from the heavens to stop customers taking the piss with free cakes.

Fire drills ‘raise false hopes that office is burning’

ROUTINE fire drills have been condemned for making workers think the place they hate most will be destroyed.

Airlines admit their cockpits are full of weird shit

AIRLINES have urged passengers not to pry into what happens inside the cockpit once the door is closed.

Big rise in firms planning to hire staff and pay them f*ck all

BRITAIN has seen a sharp rise in the number of firms planning to hire staff, pay them next to nothing and treat them like farm animals.

BMW 4 x 4 openly marketed to pricks

BMW'S jeep-type thing is being openly advertised as a vehicle for pricks.

Amazon killing off family-run penis pill makers

TRADITIONAL village penis pill retailers are facing closure as customers desert them for online competitors.

Gherkins outside London available for £150,000

THE £640m asking price of London's Gherkin building is far more than Gherkins are fetching outside the capital.