Business

Secret to getting rich ‘is to just keep it a secret’

THE secret to becoming immensely wealthy is to not tell anyone about it, according to a new book.

Steel worker grateful for chance to finish romantic comedy script

STEEL worker Tom Logan has thanked the government for not saving his job so that he can focus on writing a romantic comedy screenplay.

Worker competence down 80 per cent since Thursday

EVERYONE in Britain is now unable to do the thing they are paid to do after a four-day weekend.

Britons buying six weeks of supplies for single day shops are shut

THE UK is buying in six weeks’ worth of groceries to get them through Easter Sunday when all supermarkets are closed.

Sports Direct considering having a sale

SPORTS Direct owner Mike Ashley has admitted that he may be forced to discount prices in his stores for the first time.

Apple launches smaller, more energy-efficient factory worker

TECHNOLOGY giant Apple has unveiled a new kind of production line worker that only needs feeding every other day.

Monster Munch put in UK inflation basket to shut kids up

A SIX-PACK of Monster Munch and two toffee fudge milkshakes have been added to the inflation basket to stop children whining.

Line rental best bargain going, Britain agrees

PAYING £250 a year to rent a landline to receive marketing calls on is worth every penny, Britain has agreed.