SIXTY per cent of Tesco stores are roofless wrecks inhabited by tribes of feral monkeys, auditors have found.
COMPANIES with unusually attractive staff are likely to be run by creepy people, it has been claimed.
INCONTINENCE specialist Tena has been vote the UK’s coolest brand.
SLAVES across the world are fully employed for the 4,600th year since records began.
RBS said it will definitely move to London after independence, but admitted that must be really scary for Alex Salmond.
FOR some reason women do not feel utterly patronised by all advertising, researchers have found.
AL-QAEDA has opened a branch in India offering jihad, anti-western diatribes and two keys for a pound.
LONDON’S tallest building has become Europe’s biggest branch of Cancer Research.