TELEVISION adverts will be limited to a still image of a product with its name underneath after becoming too infuriating.
YOUR new boss claims to be an ordinary bloke on the basis that he supports West Ham.
REPORTS of big shops' Christmas sales figures have left Britons baffled and mildly anxious.
THE government is calling on shoppers to source more of their pointless, dreadful food from British farmers.
MORE Britons than ever are driving around in brand new cars like a bunch of total ponces.
BRITAIN’S pubs will have a section of the bar reserved for people who know what they are doing this Christmas.
WAITROSE has launched its neighbor-trumping 23-bird Deluxe Roast.
FACEBOOK has launched a feature allowing users to express pleasure when friends post bad news.