Business

MPs 'may have been misled' by arse-covering lounge lizard

A PARLIAMENTARY committee may have been misled by an unctuous corporate sleaze-ball who was there for the sole reason of covering his sorry arse.

Postmen leaving increasingly passive-aggressive notes

ROYAL Mail 'while you were out' notes are developing a snide undercurrent, it has emerged.

Murdochs know far less about News International than you do

YOU know considerably more about News International than Rupert Murdoch and his son James, it has been confirmed.

Britain switches to burning energy company executives

CASH-STRAPPED Britons have announced plans to heat their homes by incinerating energy bosses.

Rebekah Brooks must know some serious shit

REBEKAH Brooks is clearly keeping the Murdochs out of jail, it has emerged.

Murdoch reeling as glamour models pull kiss-and-tell sexcapades

BRITAIN'S topless models have threatened to withdraw their thrilling tales of rump-pumpy from the News Of The World.

Firms urged to hire stupid little shits

BRITISH businesses have been urged to hire surly, undereducated malcontents because at least they are not foreign.

Elderly Australian man satisfied with purchase

AN Australian pensioner today declared the British government to be excellent value for money.