Business

Britain 'could do more' to discourage tourism

TOURIST attractions in the UK must redouble their efforts to stop the place being overrun by foreigners, officials have warned.

'Team 6' to become film, boy band and washing-up sponge

THE elite special forces team that killed Osama bin Laden is to inspire a big-budget film, an edgy boy band and a no-nonsense dish washing sponge.

Royal effigies 'a breach of copyright'

FERVENT anti-royalists planning to burn effigies of William and Kate have been warned against making their own bootleg figurines.

Osborne unveils emergency sofa

CHANCELLOR George Osborne has released an utterly irresistible sofa in fawn leather with matching corner group.

Mobile users spending 100% more than necessary

BRITAIN'S mobile phone users could save hundreds of pounds by babbling shite at a calculator instead, say researchers.

Bank reforms to make it look as if something is being done

A PROPOSED shake-up of the UK banking system is to make it look as if someone is doing something about it.

Pepsi to corner foul-mouthed adulterer market

COCA-Cola has left the door open for Pepsi to corner the soft drinks market for sweary whore-mongers.

M&S about to learn 14 different French words for 'shit'

MARKS and Spencer is about to discover all the different words the French have for things that are shit.