Business

Ginger man thinks oil companies are nice

OIL companies would never dream of doing bad things, Britain's most powerful ginger claimed last night.

Osborne to close gap between private jet owners and private jet renters

PEOPLE who own private jets will face higher taxes in a bid to make the system fairer for people who just rent them.

Goodwin having sex with your money

WORLD'S worst banker Fred Goodwin hosts money orgies where he has intercourse with a series of life-size papier maché figures made from £20 notes.

People still unsure how banks work

THE £6.5m bonus paid to Barclays chief Bob Diamond was last night criticised by people with no real grasp of capitalism.

Sky News sell-off will ruin our 
lives, warn Guardian readers

ONE of the greatest Guardian reader conspiracy theories of the last 20 years was under threat last night after Rupert Murdoch agreed to sell Sky News.

Train company unveils 34-syllable ticket

THE new Semi-Super Saver Single Return Railroader Autumn Summer Traveller Student Nurse District Pet Family Oxbow Lake Pass is actually straightforward, according to train bosses.

Boardrooms should be 14% Brazilian tranny

ONE in every seven company directors in Britain should be a Brazilian transvestite with a pronounced facial tick, according to a new report.

British Gas bullshit up 24%

THE nauseating bullshit British Gas uses to justify its vicious profiteering leapt 24% last year.