CAR giant Honda last night confirmed that its Jazz supermini hatchback is full of deadly scorpions.
THE Labour Party has combined the essence of disappointment, inertia and broken promises in a unique sauce that voters can add to their food.
ADMINISTRATORS were last night called in to retail chain Ethel Austin, as thousands insisted it definitely went out of business no later than 1961.
SECURITY staff at Heathrow airport are today preparing to snigger uncontrollably at your small, sad penis.
SUPERMARKET chain Asda is targeting its Spring campaign at the shambling underclass looking for bargains in their nightclothes.