WAITROSE beefburgers do not contain horses but if they did they would be thoroughbreds, the supermarket has confirmed.
THE snow has praised its PR and marketing team for this year's 'South East: It's All White' campaign.
CORPORATE entertainment behemoth Blockbuster has lost its 14-year battle with quirky local film shop 'Cinephiles'.
HIGH street shops face a new threat as animals have begun selling an array of consumer goods.
DICKHEAD-STYLE 'indie' coffee shops may actually be run by bastards, it has been claimed.
THE secret society running the world has announced a 43% increase in Christmas sales of its popular Toblerone bar.
YOGHURTS in temporarily-available flavours will become valuable nest eggs, experts have claimed.
A GERBIL forgotten by its owners survived by establishing a thriving online business selling self-tapping screws, it has emerged.