Business

Come And See Our Hot Lesbians, Says Swindon

SWINDON is a hotbed of unbridled lesbian sex, the town's borough council claimed last night.

Pat And Jess Trade Insults Over Strike Action

BRITAIN'S leading postman and his long-standing colleague last night exchanged vicious insults in an acrimonious split over proposed strike action.

We Will Never Judge You, Says Greggs

GREGGS the baker last night assured its customers it would never ever judge them.

Microsoft Offers Students Cut-Price Infuriating Crap

STUDENTS can have Windows 7 irritate the shit out of them for a reduced fee of £30, Microsoft has announced.

Only Way To Save Blackpool Tourism Is To Destroy Rest Of UK, Say Experts

BLACKPOOL'S  tourism industry can be saved if the rest of the United Kingdom is reduced to charred, smouldering rubble, it was claimed last night.

BBC Dismantles Robert Peston


THE BBC has begun dismantling Robert Peston in the clearest signal so far that the recession is over.

Search Begins For Socially Useful Business

ACROSS the UK the search has begun for a business that is socially useful.

File-Share Crackdown 'Breaches Fundamental Right To Steal'

PLANS to cut-off the internet connections of people who share films and music have been branded an attack on the basic right to steal other people's property.