FORMER Baywatch star David Hasselhoff's psyche is set to become a multi-million dollar tourist attraction, with rides, cafes and high strangeness.
GORDON Brown is to slash Britain's budget deficit by sucking the fat from your body and selling it to soap companies.
SUPERMARKET giant Tesco was under pressure last night after it emerged its half-price turkeys are actually spaniels.
FORMER RBS chairman Sir George Mathewson last night hinted that anyone attempting to regulate City bonuses may find themselves part of the human chess set at his Highland estate.
GOD has revealed himself to be the head of Goldman Sachs, and that the real purpose of human existence is to get extraordinarily rich by 40 and buy yourself an island.