Credit card company couldn’t just be cool about it

A PETTY credit card company has started asking for repayments after 30 days of being real sports about it.

Business goes under as entire staff masters art of looking busy

A COMPANY has gone bankrupt after every member of staff perfected the art of looking like they were actually working.

Boss ends conference call by reminding employees that, ultimately, nothing matters

A CHIEF executive has told his employees not to sweat the small stuff as the universe is indifferent to quarterly sales figures.

Share plunge may have been caused by bad cocaine, admit stockbrokers

STOCKBROKERS have admitted the collapse in share prices was probably caused by some disappointing gak.

Middle class cocaine to come with lies about ethical origin

COCAINE sold to middle class people is to come with some blurb about being made by an ecologically-minded cartel that funds community projects.

Wetherspoon pubs named after made-up historical figures

MOST Wetherspoon pubs are named after local luminaries that never existed, it has emerged.

Amazon uses robot to neutralise inefficient workers

INTERNET retail giant Amazon employs a robot called Goliath that terminates non-productive workers, it has emerged.

Boss worried compliment might be incitement to ask for pay rise

A BUSINESS owner is concerned that a compliment paid to workers will make them demand more cash.