Business

Nobody cares about your stupid career

NO-ONE gives a shit about your idiotic career so shut up about it, it has been confirmed.

Ofgem asked if it could maybe do something about energy companies ripping everyone off

THE British public have asked Ofgem if it could perhaps, as the official regulator, stop energy suppliers overcharging customers instead of just warning them about it.

Bosses can read workers' emails out loud if they’re particularly juicy

EMPLOYERS can read personal emails by their staff out loud in meetings if they are particularly juicy, the European court has ruled.

Weirdo freak likes to leave office for lunch

A 32-YEAR-OLD is held in deep suspicion by his workmates for his bizarre habit of leaving the office for 40 minutes every day.

Company wondering why it employed former minister

A COMPANY is starting to regret employing a former minister with no useful skills, it has admitted.

Everyone who worked over Christmas didn't, office finds

OFFICE workers who came in over Christmas did absolutely f**k all and are now off, everyone else has discovered.

‘Career change’ a myth to keep workers docile

THE idea that workers can switch jobs is a myth put about to stop them become depressed and unproductive, it has emerged.

Britain returns to pretending to work

BRITAIN'S workers have returned to staring purposefully at their screens for eight hours.