Business

Apple launches smaller, more energy-efficient factory worker

TECHNOLOGY giant Apple has unveiled a new kind of production line worker that only needs feeding every other day.

Monster Munch put in UK inflation basket to shut kids up

A SIX-PACK of Monster Munch and two toffee fudge milkshakes have been added to the inflation basket to stop children whining.

Line rental best bargain going, Britain agrees

PAYING £250 a year to rent a landline to receive marketing calls on is worth every penny, Britain has agreed.

Zuckerberg flings handful of change at taxman

MARK Zuckerberg has thrown his pocket change at UK tax authorities and is watching them pitifully scrabble for it.

Craft beer no stronger than normal beer, discover furious Britons

COSTLY craft beer often has the same alcohol content as normal beer, it has emerged.

91 per cent of Londoners work as levitating Yodas

NINE in every ten Londoners are working shifts as levitating Yodas around the capital, it has emerged.

Worker admits mistake

A WORKER who made a mistake did not then try to bullshit her way out of the situation, it has emerged.

Women paid less because they’re smaller, say businesses

WOMEN do not need salaries as high as men because there is less of them to pay, businesses have insisted.