SMALL businesses across Britain could increase their profits by selling loads of stuff to rich bankers, it has emerged.
THE increase in the bank levy could force senior bankers to cut back on luxury ball-fluffing, it has emerged.
BANKERS have blamed the capitalist system for thinking they are better than everyone.
PURVEYORS of miracle health tonics and herbal hair loss remedies have compared Oldham to a 21st Century gold rush.
BRITAIN'S workers have long since stopped doing anything remotely productive, it emerged last night.
THE iconic Machin Head
portrait of the Queen could be replaced on stamps by Katie Price's
steam-cleaned vagina if some foreigners buy the Post Office, it has been
AS FREEZING weather and icy roads threatened to leave Britain without Christmas presents, people across the country insisted it didn't matter in a series of putrid, stinking lies.