SIR Alan Sugar is to task the remaining Apprentice contestants with making Ireland's economy less cock-shaped.
BELEAGURED airline Qantas is hoping to end its ongoing Gremlin problems after announcing formal talks with the diminutive, mischief-oriented creatures.
SOMEONE from British Gas will be round this afternoon to shoot your dog in the face, it has been confirmed.
SIR Clive Sinclair has been told to stop this nonsense and just make a little car.
YOUR boss is exploring the uncharted regions of dickishness, according to new research.
CLOTHING giant Gap was last night forced to abandon its plan to replace its classic blue square logo with the swastika.
THE UK government could be made cheaper and more efficient if civil
servants were paid 50 pence an hour, the boss of Topshop has claimed.