BRITAIN is 'well and truly, Geordie-lass-on-her-hen-night fucked' if people can no longer afford to eat at Greggs, financial analysts warned last night.
GORDON Ramsay did not swear once during a meeting with his bank manager to discuss the £10 million debt run up by his restaurant business, it emerged last night.
REGULATORS have given BT the go-ahead to set up a new super-fast broadband network and then charge rivals as much as it bloody well feels like to use it.
AHA ha ha ha ha ha ha, aha ha ha, aha ha ha ha ha, former Royal Bank of Scotland chief executive Sir Fred Goodwin said last night.
THE brain of prime minister Gordon Brown has gone into administration, Downing Street has confirmed.
FACEBOOK users are celebrating after the social network abandoned its bid to copyright the mind-numbingly tedious details of your pointless life.