Business
Millions Planning £3000 'I'm A Terrorist' Scam
MILLIONS of people across the UK are hoping to earn up to £3000 a day by pretending to be a terrorist.
Britain Picks Out New Handcart
BRITAIN will today pick out a nice, new handcart as it completes its preparations for the journey to Hell.
Tesco Nails Chicken To River Cottage Door
SUPERMARKET giant Tesco has stepped up its campaign against TV chef Hugh Fearnley-Whttingstall by nailing a live chicken to the door of River Cottage.
Ann Summers Moves Upmarket With Crotchless Evening Gown
ANN Summers is moving upmarket with a new range aimed at the middle classes, including a stunning open-crotch evening gown.
Ryanair To Ditch Passengers In Mid-Flight
BUDGET airline Ryanair has vowed to maintain profitability this year, despite rising oil prices, by throwing passengers from its aircraft in mid-flight.
Talk Of Camper Vans At Highest Since 1991
TALK of buying camper vans rose sharply last month and is now at its highest since 1991, the Nationwide building society said last night.
Barclays Cuts Overdraft Fees From Criminal To Outrageous
BARCLAYS last night signalled a shake up in the banking industry by cutting its unauthorised overdraft fees from criminally immoral to sickeningly outrageous.
You There! Rearrange My Caviar! Demands Jumped-Up Bookie
A JUMPED-UP bookie has threatened to boycott British Airways after a stewardess refused to rearrange his caviar into the shape of Charles Bronson in Death Wish II.