THE traditional John Lewis Boxing Day advert will tell the story of the 'snow-wife' returning her new hat, scarf and gloves because she absolutely hates them.
A NEW children's credit card has been launched to promote instant gratification.
PARTNERSHIP candidates at Goldman Sachs are asked to get creative with a kitten and a range of power tools, it has emerged.
A NEW 'crowd-funding' website, wankerschemes.com, allows dickheads with stupid ideas to get money from idiots.
WHATEVER is still left of your pension fund is to be taken to a greenfield site on the edge of your town and burned.
STARBUCKS is being crowded out of the UK market by the ruthless business practices of quirky local tearooms.
BRITISH Gas has composed a prayer to Ullr, the Norse God of Snow.