BARCLAYS has finally admitted it is no longer run by bankers after posting an annual profit of £6bn.
ROYAL Bank of Scotland executives are to use their six figure bonuses to buy Ferraris which they will then rev loudly right in front of your house.
BRITONS working in continental Europe have decided they will probably not strike in sympathy with their fellow countrymen.
A BRITISH travel firm is believed to be the first in the world to offer activity holidays guaranteed to be filled with twats.
BRITISH Gas has agreed to leave you just enough money so you can eat.
THE Royal Bank of Scotland is just days away from imploding like that house in Poltergeist, it was claimed said last night.
CHANCELLOR Alistair Darling has promised to limit the number of bank bail-outs to 10 or 12 at the most.
CLAIMS the UK was seeing the green shoots of recovery were withdrawn last night after they were revealed to be nothing more than the mouldy fingers of the recently deceased.