Piggy credit card teaches children not to save

A NEW children's credit card has been launched to promote instant gratification.

Goldman Sachs selection process involves a kitten and a chainsaw

PARTNERSHIP candidates at Goldman Sachs are asked to get creative with a kitten and a range of power tools, it has emerged.

'Crowd-funding' site connects dickheads with idiots

A NEW 'crowd-funding' website,, allows dickheads with stupid ideas to get money from idiots.

Remaining dregs of your pension fund to be set on fire

WHATEVER is still left of your pension fund is to be taken to a greenfield site on the edge of your town and burned.

Starbucks crowded out by ruthless independent tearooms

STARBUCKS is being crowded out of the UK market by the ruthless business practices of quirky local tearooms.

British Gas prays to God of Snow

BRITISH Gas has composed a prayer to Ullr, the Norse God of Snow.

Defence merger halted by time travelling robot

BAE Systems and EADS have decided to cancel their planned merger, after a robot from the future threatened to kill everyone involved.