Business

Bank Of England Told To Cheer The Fuck Up

THE Bank of England was last night told to give it a rest for a few weeks, or at least start things off with a joke.

Water Made From Gas, Say Water Companies

WATER companies last night defended their above inflation price rises insisting water was now made from very expensive gas.

CBI Finds Extra Twenty Million Poor People Behind Fridge

THE CBI last night warned that the UK economy was far worse off than it thought after it found an extra twenty million poor people behind the fridge. 

Estate Agents Celebrate Return Of Scrabulous

BRITAIN'S estate agents were last night celebrating the return of popular word game Scrabulous to the Facebook social networking site.

Centrica Loving It

GAS supplier Centrica announced last night that it was loving it.

Transport And General Workers Union To Merge With Mafia

A NEW chapter has been written in the 86-year history of the Transport and General Workers Union after it agreed a merger with the New York Mafia.

Hard-Up Queen Forced To Sell Princess Anne

PRINCESS Anne was put up for sale last night as the Queen looked to plug a £32 million hole in her finances.

Tesco Trumps Asda With Range Of Porn Cakes

SUPERMARKET rivalry has intensified after Tesco promised to put all your dirty pictures on a cake.