Eggs to buy Twitter

THE forthcoming Twitter flotation is set to attract massive investment from the social network's thriving egg community.

Miliband unveils first energy price increase

LABOUR leader Ed Miliband has announced the first of his promised hikes in the price of gas and electricity.

Blackberry bought by consortium of teenagers

THE makers of Blackberry have been bought by teens eager to keep their favourite hook-up network intact.

Apple supermarket to sell sleek tech-beans

APPLE has retaliated against Tesco's tablet computer by opening a minimalist supermarket selling forward-thinking foods.

Facebook to become fully automated

FACEBOOK is to replace users' boring posts with exciting fictional versions.

M&S not sure if it is a shop anymore

MARKS & Spencer is unsure whether it is a supermarket or a quasi-spiritual organisation offering the promise of a better life.

Workers just want more money

THE key to a happy workforce is giving them more money, it has emerged.