Co-op customers happy their bank is still different

CO-OP account holders have praised their bank for continuing to be very, very different indeed.

Nectar points not for anything

SAINSBURY'S has confirmed that collecting Nectar points is done for the sheer love of it.

Boss demands successful viral for boring project

A BOSS has demanded that his staff create a wildly successful viral video for a boring business idea.

Employers predict you will work harder for less money

BOSSES across the UK are going to make you work harder so they can buy more things, according to a new survey.

Corporate marketing tool to warm morons' hearts

IMBECILES around the UK are preparing to be enchanted by an advert for a big shop.

Tesco to replace population with docile clones

SUPERMARKET giant Tesco is to scan faces as part of a plan to murder shoppers and replace them with clones.

RBS admits concept of 'good bank' too much of a headf*ck

ROYAL Bank of Scotland is not going to split after admitting the concept of a 'good bank' is too mental to contemplate.

Tesco throwing away four cans of lager per year

BRITISH branches of Tesco throw away a fiver’s worth of alcohol every year, they have confirmed.