GEORGE Osborne will use the £747 million from the sale of Northern Rock to bail it out again sometime next year.
POPE Benedict and Imam Ahmed Mohamed el-Tayeb would be a really horrible couple, it has been confirmed.
GEORGE Osborne has helped to ease the financial crisis by pointing at France and shouting a lot.
TROUBLED sloth-wear vendor JJB Sports is to market its goods at sporty people.
THE government is to boost the economy by giving £1bn to some builders instead of you and your friends.
PROTESTORS in the City of London have been offered a choice of high quality consumer goods if they will just go away.
RATINGS agency Fitch has cut Halifax's credit score because it despises that advert where they all sing.
THE Portas Inquiry into Britain's high streets will close every shop in the country because Mary Portas is such an utter moron, it has emerged.