Ryanair May Be Irish, Say Experts

LOW-COST airline Ryanair may be an Irish company, it was claimed last night.

Fraud Investigation Launched Into Rover 200

THE Serious Fraud Office is to launch an investigation after claims the Rover 200 may have been marketed as a car.

But We Love The Madness, Bankers Tell Darling

BANKERS have rejected Alistair Darling's plea not to return to the 'madness' that caused the recession, insisting they bloody love it.

New Boss Same As Old Boss, Confirms RBS

MEET the new boss - same as the old boss, the Royal Bank of Scotland said today.

Blur To Reform As Accountancy Firm

NINETIES indie heroes Blur have reformed as Blur Accountancy Ltd, offering fans a wide range of financial services.

Fred Goodwin Loses Mind

SIR Fred Goodwin was understood to have lost his mind last night after deciding to give up half his pension and leave his luxury villa in the South of France.

Pathetic, Inadequate Banking Regulations Not To Blame, Says Darling

THE near collapse of the UK banking system had nothing to do with the piece-of-shit regulations that govern it, chancellor Alistair Darling will claim today.

Ba Offers Free Adventure Holidays At Airports

BRITISH Airways is giving UK tourists the chance of a free adventure holiday performing menial unpaid tasks at Heathrow's terminal five.