SATAN, the Prince of Darkness, is to launch an appeal after he was ordered to sell Heathrow.
NO women were involved in the making of the latest advert for Always pantyliners, it was confirmed last night.
A LEADING economist last night admitted he had talked himself into talking us all into a major global recession.
THE Bank of England was last night told to give it a rest for a few weeks, or at least start things off with a joke.
WATER companies last night defended their above inflation price rises insisting water was now made from very expensive gas.
THE CBI last night warned that the UK economy was far worse off than it thought after it found an extra twenty million poor people behind the fridge.
BRITAIN'S estate agents were last night celebrating the return of popular word game Scrabulous to the Facebook social networking site.
GAS supplier Centrica announced last night that it was loving it.