THE world's iPhones have resigned, it has been confirmed.
PEOPLE who buy things from Ikea are obviously Nazis, scientists confirmed last night.
A NEW theme park will offer juggling, weed smoking and infectious diseases to students unable to afford to take a year out.
TOO many graduates have an insufficient knowledge of the psychosexual elements of the Alien films, industry leaders have warned.
TRAIN fare hikes are vital if rail executives are to double the size of their humongous homes by 2015, it was claimed last night.
THE News International cat was at least 2,000 miles from its bag, it was estimated last night.
ESTATE agents are struggling to find buyers for Britain's increasing number of on-fire homes, it has emerged.
FOUR year-old Gemma Logan has been unveiled as the new chief executive of the Royal Bank of Scotland.