THE traditional John Lewis Boxing Day advert will tell the story of the 'snow-wife' returning her new hat, scarf and gloves because she absolutely hates them.
A NEW children's credit card has been launched to promote instant gratification.
PARTNERSHIP candidates at Goldman Sachs are asked to get creative with a kitten and a range of power tools, it has emerged.
A NEW 'crowd-funding' website, wankerschemes.com, allows dickheads with stupid ideas to get money from idiots.
WHATEVER is still left of your pension fund is to be taken to a greenfield site on the edge of your town and burned.
STARBUCKS is being crowded out of the UK market by the ruthless business practices of quirky local tearooms.