Business

Scrumpy-making farmer not 'inspired by Brew Dog'

A FARMER whose bright orange cider makes you shit yourself is not inspired by Brew Dog, he has confirmed.

Wetherspoons impossible to boycott

BRITONS who would like to boycott Wetherspoons because of its chairman’s political views have admitted it is impossible.

New pound coin sorry it's attached to completely f**ked currency

THE new one pound coin would rather not be attached to a doomed currency, it has confirmed.

No-one surprised to discover strange colleague was homeschooled

WORKERS have expressed no surprise that their strange new colleague was educated by his parents.

Rising inflation explained as 'the 70s'

ECONOMISTS have explained what rising inflation means by asking if you remember the fourth-hand Chopper bike you got for your birthday in 1978.

Apple denies all knowledge of Apple Watch

APPLE has denied that the Apple Watch ever existed.

Boss’s claim ‘we’re all mad here’ actually a cry for help

A BOSS who claimed in a job interview that everyone in his office was crazy was desperately asking for help, a new employee has discovered.

International Women's Day celebrated by brands that hate women

CORPORATIONS that hate and fear women have wished them a happy International Women’s Day.