Baffling decimal currency to be phased out

THE UK’s exit from the EU means the welcome return of the thru’penny bit and the half-crown, it has been confirmed.

Proper-shaped bananas arrive in UK

CRATELOADS of sensibly-shaped bananas that were banned under the EU have arrived on British shores.

Jubilant Leave voter 'will catch up with the financial news later'

AN OVERJOYED Leave voter is celebrating the win and can catch up on all that financial stuff later, he has confirmed.

Tesco to stop being passive-aggressively ‘open at night’

TESCO has announced plans to stop grudgingly allowing customers to weave through its all-night shelf-stacking sessions.

Ordinary workers unsure whether they’d rather be f**ked over in or out of the EU

ORDINARY workers are torn over whether they would prefer being exploited by corporations inside or outside of the European Union.

Nobody knows what ‘digital’ supposed to mean

MEDIA workers talking about ‘digital’ do not have the slightest clue what it is, according to new research.

Microsoft expands empire of pointless annoyance

SOFTWARE irritant Microsoft has added to its portfolio of woe with the purchase of LinkedIn.

Corporate drone hates himself for laughing at joke about company

A COMPANY yes-man has been sickened by his hypocrisy for laughing at a joke about his employer, it has emerged.