Business

Shopper who’s never been to Waitrose still names it as her favourite supermarket

A WOMAN who has never visited a Waitrose still claimed it was her favourite supermarket in a consumer survey, she has admitted.

Hard drive manufacturer sends you Valentine's email

THE manufacturer of your backup hard drive has sent you a special love-themed offer for Valentine's Day.

Student loans sold to hard bastard who hates students

STUDENT loans have been sold to an extremely hard bastard who hates students and is into cage fighting.

Uber quietly reinstalled

A WOMAN has stealthily reinstalled taxi app Uber after a week of condemning it on social media.

Curry houses face shortage of limp salad for you to ignore

CURRY restaurants are facing bankruptcy after a lettuce shortage means they have no limp salads for diners to disregard.

Big-hearted rail companies not going to burn down your house

IN an act of unprecedented generosity, Britain’s train companies have confirmed they will never set fire to your house.

Local handyman forced to accept some jobs are too big or small

A LOCAL odd job man has admitted that some jobs are too big or small for him.

Tesco buying Londis so they can charge 85p for a can of Tizer

TESCO is buying Londis because they can charge 85p for a Tizer and up to £1.60 for a loaf of white bread.