Business

No-frills pub 'will allow pissing yourself'

A NEW super-economy pub chain will allow patrons to urinate where they sit, it has announced.

Parking meter does not give change because it is operated by bastards

A MACHINE dispensing parking tickets does not give change purely because it is owned by clutching, mean-spirited scumbags.

British Gas smart meter switches all your stuff on when you’re not there

NEW British Gas 'smart meters' wait until you go out and then switch on all your appliances.

Supermarkets recruiting shoppers for actual war

BRITAIN’S ‘big four’ supermarkets are asking shoppers to join them in a massive, deadly war.

An open letter from Royal Mail

OVER the last few months, we've watched the popularity of open letters grow and grow.

Michelin Guide ‘should really mention stuff about vomiting’

THE Michelin Guide to restaurants should at least touch on the subject of vomit, it has been claimed.

Everyone can tell your shirt is unironed

THE entire office can see that you've not ironed that shirt and is judging you because of it.

Primark creates clothing range for shoplifters

PRIMARK has launched a range of shoplifting attire with concealed pockets and other thief-friendly features.