Business

Pathetic worker pretended he didn’t want to go home

A CONNIVING office worker pretended he would rather crack on with more work than go home at five 'o' clock, it has emerged.

The Mash guide to surviving the financial meltdown

BANKERS, politicians and all the other people who caused 2008’s financial apocalypse agree that things are about to go tits up again.

Tax return hailed as creative writing masterpiece

HMRC AUDITORS have hailed a self-employed man’s tax return as a masterpiece of contemporary fiction.

Nobody cares about your stupid career

NO-ONE gives a shit about your idiotic career so shut up about it, it has been confirmed.

Ofgem asked if it could maybe do something about energy companies ripping everyone off

THE British public have asked Ofgem if it could perhaps, as the official regulator, stop energy suppliers overcharging customers instead of just warning them about it.

Bosses can read workers' emails out loud if they’re particularly juicy

EMPLOYERS can read personal emails by their staff out loud in meetings if they are particularly juicy, the European court has ruled.

Weirdo freak likes to leave office for lunch

A 32-YEAR-OLD is held in deep suspicion by his workmates for his bizarre habit of leaving the office for 40 minutes every day.

Company wondering why it employed former minister

A COMPANY is starting to regret employing a former minister with no useful skills, it has admitted.