Business

Brooks verdict welcomed by clueless bosses

BOSSES who have no idea what their staff are doing have welcomed the acquittal of Rebekah Brooks.

Jury asked if it could find Coulson ‘ultra-guilty’

ANDY Coulson’s completely obvious involvement in phone hacking prompted his trial jury to ask if they could find him more than guilty.

Bank allowed to put little hats on mortgages

THE Bank of England has been given special powers to put fancy hats on the top of huge home loans that will destroy the economy.

Amazon no longer selling anything

INTERNET giant Amazon is no longer selling any products following disputes with every publisher, film producer, record label and mop manufacturer in the world.

Man buys more than one item from farmers’ market

SHOPPERS claim to have seen a man buy two things at a farmers’ market.

Britain's soulless and generic high streets under threat

BRITAIN'S rows of tedious, depressing chain shops are under threat from online retailers.

iPhone ransom hackers bought by Apple

APPLE has paid £156m for the start-up that hacks into iPhones and demands a fee to unlock them.

Work is fun, confirm bosses

BRITAIN’S bosses have confirmed that work is fun and not boring as claimed by Benefits Street star White Dee.