JOHN Lewis has announced that its 17% staff bonuses will be paid in the form of non-essential household accessories.
BRITAIN will oppose an EU ban on gently warming the testicles of bankers.
BRITISH Gas will take on 1,000 young people over the next three years and teach them how to be unremitting bastards.
WORKING from home is great - it's almost like being free.
THE Royal Mail is offering to bury the heap of marketing bullshit it would otherwise put through your letterbox.