A MAN is hoping to raise enough money to buy himself a pint in Covent Garden.
ALL work done on Friday afternoon is to be replaced by an art class or physical exercise.
HOUSE prices are rising so fast that home ownership is only possible in shitholes, say experts.
THE price of any item reduced on Black Friday is whatever it says on the label plus your very soul, retailers have agreed.
The sheer cost of middle-class life in London means they can only afford one large house and one buy-to-let flat.
A MAN wearing a business suit feels purposeful as f*ck, it has been confirmed.
A PERVERTED old man living in a crater on the moon is given a telescope to spy on couples having sex in John Lewis’s Christmas advert.
THE story of Jesus’s birth now includes a large red lorry with corporate branding, it has been confirmed.