Business

Homeworker still gets drunk on Friday lunchtime

A HOMEWORKER maintains age-old office traditions by drinking heavily during her Friday lunch hour.

Lego unveils bricks that only intelligent kids can see

LEGO has announced a new line of building bricks that are invisible to stupid children.

Government powerless to intervene in non-banking industry

THE government has confirmed there is absolutely nothing it can do to save the non-London-based steel industry. 

McDonald’s launches doomed non-burger

McDONALD’S  has unveiled its latest food item that will fail because it is not a burger.

London tenant evicted for paying same rent as last month

A TENANT in a London flat has been evicted for attempting to pay the same amount in rent for two consecutive months.

Facebook applies for housing benefit and tax credits

FACEBOOK’S small tax bill means it is eligible for a range of benefits for people on low incomes, it has emerged.

Hurry up and die, Britain tells Tesco

BRITAIN has asked Tesco if it could stop dragging it out and just die.

Public to buy Lloyds and destroy it

ORDINARY Britons are to buy Lloyds bank so that they can send it back to the hell from which it came.