Business

All alcohol looks classy in a box

ANY bottle of alcohol will instantly look classy when placed in a box, experts have confirmed.

Supermarkets working together to hide the eggs

THE 'big four' supermarkets have met to discuss new and ingenious ways to hide eggs from customers.

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, says BA

IF YOU remember a plane catching fire in Las Vegas then you were not there, British Airways has insisted.

Whisky drinkers will believe anything, say scientists

WHISKY ‘connoisseurs’ are just ruddy-nosed cash dispensers, according to new research.

Credit card company couldn’t just be cool about it

A PETTY credit card company has started asking for repayments after 30 days of being real sports about it.

Business goes under as entire staff masters art of looking busy

A COMPANY has gone bankrupt after every member of staff perfected the art of looking like they were actually working.

Boss ends conference call by reminding employees that, ultimately, nothing matters

A CHIEF executive has told his employees not to sweat the small stuff as the universe is indifferent to quarterly sales figures.

Share plunge may have been caused by bad cocaine, admit stockbrokers

STOCKBROKERS have admitted the collapse in share prices was probably caused by some disappointing gak.