Satan missing from leaked Zuckerberg photos

07-12-11

THE Lord of Darkness does not appear in any of the leaked private photos of Mark Zuckerberg.

'Privacy is my new chicken'

The images show the Facebook tycoon laughing with friends, playing with a little dog and about to kill a chicken.

But, to the surprise of industry analysts, there is no photograph of Zuckerberg and Satan standing in the middle of a pentangle, their blood soaked hands raised towards the ceiling and their eyes rolled back in their sockets.

IT expert Julian Cook, said: “There is one photo where his eyes look kind of weird. I can’t work out whether it’s the flash reflecting against his retinas or whether the flash has somehow managed to capture his Satanic essence.

“I assume the chicken was about to be used in some kind of sacrificial rite where Zuckerberg would cut the head off and then he and Satan would take it in turns to spray the blood directly into each other’s mouths.

“And the sushi he is seen preparing is probably just the tongue of one of his enemies. Satan and his helpers do love to feast on raw tongue wrapped in seaweed.”

Facebook said the photos were leaked because of a ‘glitch’ but stressed they did prove that Zuckerberg was just a normal young man and therefore his social network was just as normal and lovely as he clearly is.

A spokesman said: “How could someone with such a cute little dog create a work of pure, undiluted evil?”

Cook added: “Maybe the dog is Satan.”

  • Share:

  • Badger_Pic_inside