Tragic bastards somehow nostalgic about Safeway

23-11-16

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Alex Lentati/Evening Standar/REX/Shutterstock (902466a) Story: Safeway Supermarket Store Stratford E London Which Asked Prospective Employees To Take Part In An Intelligence Test To Fill Vaccancies. The Results Were Not Encouraging... Story: Safeway Supermarket Store Stratford E London Which Asked Prospective Employees To Take Part In An Intelligence Test To Fill Vaccancies. The Results Were Not Encouraging...

PEOPLE who feel nostalgic about an old supermarket brand have been told to get a f**king grip.

After it was announced that Safeway supermarkets are to return, experts confirmed that nobody should have warm feelings about a supermarket chain that closed in 2005 unless they are a strange type of moron.

Retail consultant Norman Steele said: “It’s good that people are pleased about Safeway returning in some form, but for their own sake I’d advise them to get a fucking life.

“Perhaps they have cherished memories of buying chilled chicken breasts and two-for-one bottles of Ajax. But it’s basically a big unfeeling building full of meat and vegetables.”

Office manager Nikki Hollis said: “I used to love shopping at Safeway in the early 1990s. I was young and in love then and life was so full of promise. Plus the mince was very cheap.

Electrician Tom Logan said: “I’ve got a Facebook page called ‘Memories of Safeway’ where we reminisce about things like Heinz minestrone soup.

“When I went there as a child with my parents there was definitely a full-sized magic castle next to the sliced ham.”

  • Share: