DOING your job is probably less ethical than taking drugs, it has been claimed.
As Britain’s top policeman called for more drugs testing in the workplace, experts asked him whether he wanted corporate drones to start self-harming with staple guns.
Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “Most people work in sales, marketing or ‘financial services’, and are required to fuck over their fellow man on a daily basis.
“Smoking weed is the only way they can get to sleep at night.”
Office workers Emma Bradford said: “My job is to ring up vulnerable people and get them to buy some double glazing they don’t need or can’t afford.
“Apparently doing this makes me a pillar of the economy. But I could lose my house for smoking a bifter. Go figure.”
Banker Tom Booker said: “My job is basically to ruin people’s lives. And at the end of a long day’s life-ruining, I need cocaine to take the edge off my waking nightmare.
“I hope no one ever realises alcohol is a recreational drug, then I’m really fucked.”
