You shouldn’t be getting trains if you haven’t done the research, say operators

RAIL operators have told passengers to stop using trains if they are too lazy to spend a few hours researching ticket prices.

The train companies have responded to criticism of ‘confusing’ fares by hitting out at lazy passengers who are unwilling to make the necessary effort. 

A spokesman for the Rail Delivery Group said: “If you want to make a train journey, approach it as if you’re buying a house or a car. Plan it at least six month in advance, get on the forums, do the research. 

“There’s a reason our fare structure is so beautifully complicated. It’s a reward system, like that film Ready Player One, where only the most dedicated and courageous win through. 

“Yeah sure, the guy next to you paid £2.61 for a journey that cost you £458.90. But he earned it.” 

He added: “First class tickets? That’s different. For those we charge as much as we like because it’s all on expenses so nobody gives a shit.”