Alexa Chung To Be New Face Of Chitlins
MODEL and TV presenter Alexa Chung is to become the face of boiled pigs’ intestines, it was announced last night.
The style icon has signed a seven-figure deal to front the ‘Chitlins: Believe’ campaign, in a bid to engage the elusive 18-34 year-old, high-earning ABC1 demographic that has thus far proved resistant to eating connective tissue.
Chung said: “Whether I’m on a private jet dashing between catwalks, or have just returned late from a celebrity-studded reception at Soho members’ club Prick House, I’m always reaching for chitlins.
“There’s never really a time when I don’t want them. Sometimes I can’t think about anything else.
“When I arrive at a Hoxton loft party I’m like, ‘where’s the chitlins at?’ If there’s a bowl of them in the room I’ll just get straight in with my hands, or just stick my face in like I’m at a trough, slopping it all everywhere and making slobbery, smacking noises.”
She added: “I think it’s because they smell like my nan’s house. And I like that they’re cooked in a big vat, with an onion floating in it to stop the stink.”
A spokesman for the British Chitlin Federation said: ‘We’re delighted to have Alexa on board. Like a delicious chitlin she is long, slender and washed until completely free of faecal matter.
“We think of her as a sort of Kelly Brook substitute for men who eat dried sliced fruit and like Lost in Translation.”
Chitlins can be served as a main meal, a dip or a pet food, while whole chitlins can be wrapped around the neck to make an edible scarf or stole.
Chitlin fan, Julian Cook, said: ‘I think Alexa is a great choice, I’ve always had a thing for rather poorly-looking girls. I reckon they’d be very cheap to feed.
“Especially if they like chitlins.”