Alexa Chung To Be New Face Of Chitlins

25-06-10

MODEL and TV presenter Alexa Chung is to become the face of boiled pigs’ intestines, it was announced last night.

Fry them in a bucket!

The style icon has signed a seven-figure deal to front the ‘Chitlins: Believe’ campaign, in a bid  to engage the elusive 18-34 year-old, high-earning ABC1 demographic that has thus far proved resistant to eating connective tissue.

Chung said: “Whether I’m on a private jet dashing between catwalks, or have just returned late from a celebrity-studded reception at Soho members’ club Prick House, I’m always reaching for chitlins.

“There’s never really a time when I don’t want them. Sometimes I can’t think about anything else.

“When I arrive at a Hoxton loft party I’m like, ‘where’s the chitlins at?’ If there’s a bowl of them in the room I’ll just get straight in with my hands, or just stick my face in like I’m at a trough, slopping it all everywhere and making slobbery, smacking noises.”

She added: “I think it’s because they smell like my nan’s house. And I like that they’re cooked in a big vat, with an onion floating in it to stop the stink.”

A spokesman for the British Chitlin Federation said: ‘We’re delighted to have Alexa on board. Like a delicious chitlin she is long, slender and washed until completely free of faecal matter.

“We think of her as a sort of Kelly Brook substitute for men who eat dried sliced fruit and like Lost in Translation.”

Chitlins can be served as a main meal, a dip or a pet food, while whole chitlins can be wrapped around the neck to make an edible scarf or stole.

Chitlin fan, Julian Cook, said: ‘I think Alexa is a great choice, I’ve always had a thing for rather poorly-looking girls. I reckon they’d be very cheap to feed.

“Especially if they like chitlins.”

 

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