Brangelina split foretold in Book Of Isiah

PASSAGES in the Old Testament predicted the split between Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, according to a leading academic.

Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, made the discovery while scouring passages from the Dead Sea Scrolls for unusual varieties of plague that might work in a ‘Survivors-type’ screenplay he is writing in his spare time.

He added: “There’s loads of celeb juice, including some top-notch stuff on the Brangelina meltdown, how their $300 million fortune will be divided and what’s really going on with Jen.”

Professor Brubaker highlighted a passage from Isiah’s ‘Chit-Chat to the Simeonites’ which appears to describe an ambiguous meeting between Pitt and his ex-wife:

“And Brad shall attend a pool party at the dwelling place of Harvey Weinstein, to celebrate the issuing forth of a maverick cop buddy movie starring himself and Owen Wilson, at which she who is Jennifer Aniston shall also be present.

“And they shall partake of wine and broth and discuss how indeed they were good together back in the time of King Zebulon and the plague of toads.”

Professor Brubaker added: “Angie also does something pretty mental involving Brad’s beard and a captive barn owl.”