Branson’s mother falls in love with Kate Winslet

SIR Richard Branson’s mother is head over heels in love with dashing actress Kate Winslet.

Greg Wise as Kate Winslet and Kate Winslet as Eve Branson in Ang Lee's 'Flam and Flammability'

Eve Branson, one of the much-admired Branson sisters, slipped and fell during a beastly fire only to be swept up in the arms of the commanding Ms Winslet.

The handsome actress carried Eve to safety before commenting that one so dainty should perhaps take more care when one’s luxury Caribbean home is struck by a most fearsome lightning bolt.

As her younger sister giggled in the background, Eve replied: “Truly Ms Winslet, I fear that my heart may have been struck by the same lightning bolt.”

Eve is understood to admire Ms Winslet greatly and is in awe of her outspoken views on poetry, music, art and love.

But her sister Elinor remarked: “Ms Winslet is truly a woman of courage and not insubstantial handsomeness but I fear she may not be all that she seems.

“I took the precaution of re-viewing her Academy Award acceptance speech and was forced to conclude that your suitor possesses a degree of self-absorption that our dear, departed Papa would have described as ‘ghastly’.

“I beseech you sweet, precious Eve, take the very greatest care of your heart as I would be loathed to see it broken when Ms Winslet has to spend three months on the set of an Ang Lee film about Jack the Ripper.

“And I don’t know whether you noticed but Ms Winslet has two children. No good can come of this.

“Next time there is a fire do try and get yourself rescued by Alan Rickman.”