Don’t even think of standing for PM, Britain warns Branson

BRITONS have warned Richard Branson that a Trump-style political campaign would result in his arse being kicked into the Atlantic.

Office worker Steven Malley, who has already created the #AnyonebutBranson hashtag well in advance of the 2020 General Election said: “You can see the way that twisted, hippy-gone-bad mind of his works.

“He thinks that if that back seat driving gasbag Trump can bring himself to within an ace of becoming President of the United States just by bragging how rich he is, what’s to stop him declaring himself head of Virgin UK?

“Well, we’re here to say, this is Britain. We’re a long way behind Germany, or Scandinavia, or let’s face it anywhere in Europe when it comes to being the sharpest political tools in the box. 

“But we’ve got a long way, a long, long way down before we reach the hayseed levels of a Trump convention. We’re partial but not complete morons.”