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	<title>The Daily Mash &#187; Celebrity</title>
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		<title>George Michael &#8216;surprisingly good at parallel parking&#8217;</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/george-michael-surprisingly-good-at-parallel-parking-2013052269721</link>
		<pubDate>Wed, 22 May 2013 11:28:40 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity]]></category>
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		<description><![CDATA[HIGHWAY Code-averse pop star George Michael is a tight, efficient parallel parker, it has emerged. The Wham! legend, who has a chequered motoring history, was seen reversing his Range Rover into a spot described by onlookers as &#8220;tighter than a cat&#8217;s arse&#8221;. 27-year-old bystander Nikki Hollis said: &#8220;We were all like, &#8216;that&#8217;s George Michael, he&#8217;s [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Retired footballers start tropical detective agency</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/retired-footballers-start-tropical-detective-agency-2013052169505</link>
		<pubDate>Tue, 21 May 2013 08:12:12 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[FORMER Premier League players have joined forces to fight crime in exotic locations.]]></description>
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		<title>Kevin McCloud lives on new-build estate</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/kevin-mccloud-lives-on-new-build-estate-2013052069381</link>
		<pubDate>Mon, 20 May 2013 10:25:50 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[<em>GRAND Designs</em> presenter Kevin McCloud lives on an estate called The Glades, it has emerged.]]></description>
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		<title>Brad Pitt had testicles removed seven years ago</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/brad-pitt-had-testicles-removed-seven-years-ago-2013051468591</link>
		<pubDate>Tue, 14 May 2013 08:01:45 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[BRAD Pitt has revealed he had his testicles surgically removed seven years ago.]]></description>
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		<title>Prince Charles injured by heavy irony</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/charles-injured-by-heavy-irony-2013051068183</link>
		<pubDate>Fri, 10 May 2013 08:29:37 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[PRINCE Charles is recovering in hospital after a big lump of science-related irony hit him on the head.]]></description>
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		<title>Charles to become Queen</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/charles-to-become-queen-2013050968070</link>
		<pubDate>Thu, 09 May 2013 10:05:08 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=68070</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[FORMER Prince Charles has mixed feelings about his new role as the Queen, it has emerged.]]></description>
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		<title>Apprentice contestants fail &#8216;don&#8217;t be twats&#8217; challenge</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/apprentice-contestants-fail-dont-be-twats-challenge-2013050867840</link>
		<pubDate>Wed, 08 May 2013 09:50:41 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[News Briefly Box]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[CONTENDERS on BBC1&#8242;s The Apprentice have unanimously failed a task where they were asked to not behave like twats. &#8216;Sirralan&#8217; Sugar split the hopefuls into two teams and told them, &#8220;Just sit there and don&#8217;t do anything twattish, for five fucking minutes.&#8221; But within six seconds they were talking over each other, being pointlessly aggressive [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Ex-pope still hanging around Vatican annoying everyone</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/ex-pope-still-hanging-around-vatican-annoying-everyone-2013050367544</link>
		<pubDate>Fri, 03 May 2013 10:44:23 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[EX-POPE Benedict is seriously getting under people’s feet at the Vatican, say cardinals.]]></description>
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		<title>I am just dreadful, admits Paltrow</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/i-am-just-dreadful-admits-paltrow-2013050267487</link>
		<pubDate>Thu, 02 May 2013 13:32:14 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[GWYNETH Paltrow has admitted she is jaw-droppingly ghastly and awful.]]></description>
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		<title>Richard Dawkins and God to star in 70s-style sitcom</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/richard-dawkins-to-star-in-70s-style-sitcom-about-god-2013050167300</link>
		<pubDate>Wed, 01 May 2013 08:17:04 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=67300</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[RICHARD Dawkins is the star of a new sitcom where his wife secretly takes in God as a lodger.]]></description>
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		<title>London does my head in, says reanimated Dr Johnson</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/london-does-my-head-in-says-reanimated-dr-johnson-2013042566638</link>
		<pubDate>Thu, 25 Apr 2013 07:49:36 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[THE newly-reanimated 18th century writer Dr Johnson is not enjoying modern London.]]></description>
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		<title>Queen &#8216;landed with a sickening crunch&#8217;</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/queen-landed-with-a-sickening-crunch-2013042266179</link>
		<pubDate>Mon, 22 Apr 2013 08:28:43 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[THE Queen has suffered extensive injuries after being repeatedly thrown into the air during birthday celebrations.]]></description>
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		<title>Clarkson distraught at meeting people he couldn&#8217;t offend</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/clarkson-distraught-at-meeting-people-he-couldnt-offend-2013041765909</link>
		<pubDate>Wed, 17 Apr 2013 12:37:23 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[News Briefly Box]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[JEREMY Clarkson has admitted being out of his offensiveness depth at Thatcher&#8217;s funeral. He said: “I told the old chap beside me that they should be cremating Lady Thatcher on a mountain of tyres as a two-finger gesture to the eco-mentalists who run their cars on organic hemp, and he just nodded. &#8220;Desperate for attention, [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Bernie Ecclestone strips for Playboy</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/bernie-ecclestone-strips-for-playboy-2013041765827</link>
		<pubDate>Wed, 17 Apr 2013 08:20:36 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[News Briefly Box]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=65827</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[BERNIE Ecclestone has made his debut as a Playboy centrefold. This month&#8217;s edition of the magazine features the sexy Formula One boss in a variety of coquettish poses, such as reclining nude on a verandah with a Scalextric car half-covering his scrotum. Ecclestone said: &#8220;The shoot felt so liberating and not at all sleazy. &#8220;My [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Women &#8216;not manly enough for Formula One&#8217;</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/women-not-manly-enough-for-formula-one-2013041665724</link>
		<pubDate>Tue, 16 Apr 2013 10:18:12 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[WOMEN are not sufficiently manly to be racing drivers, according to Stirling Moss.]]></description>
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		<title>Vince Cable really into The Wanted</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/vince-cable-really-into-the-wanted-2013041665633</link>
		<pubDate>Tue, 16 Apr 2013 07:38:59 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[VINCE Cable criticised One Direction because he loves The Wanted, it has emerged.]]></description>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Thatcher wigs sell out across UK</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/thatcher-wigs-sell-out-across-uk-2013041565554</link>
		<pubDate>Mon, 15 Apr 2013 07:50:00 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[ARDENT Thatcher fans are snapping up replicas of her famous hairstyle.]]></description>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Straight men challenged to actually have sex with Ryan Gosling</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/straight-men-challenged-to-actually-have-sex-with-ryan-gosling-2013041265407</link>
		<pubDate>Fri, 12 Apr 2013 07:49:09 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=65407</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[HETEROSEXUAL men who claim to fancy Ryan Gosling are being offered sex with him.]]></description>
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		<title>BBC coverage of Thatcher’s funeral pre-emptively slammed</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/bbc-coverage-of-thatchers-funeral-pre-emptively-slammed-2013041165371</link>
		<pubDate>Thu, 11 Apr 2013 09:48:05 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=65371</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[THE BBC's live coverage of Baroness Thatcher's funeral next week has been slammed for its bias, incompetence and lack of respect.]]></description>
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		<title>Saint Peter shitting himself</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/saint-peter-shitting-himself-2013040865116</link>
		<pubDate>Mon, 08 Apr 2013 15:02:22 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[News Briefly Box]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=65116</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[HEAVEN&#8217;S admissions manager is very, very scared. Saint Peter said: &#8220;She&#8217;ll be arriving any minute, but I&#8217;ve looked through my list about 5,000 times and clearly I&#8217;m not seeing M. Thatcher. &#8220;God&#8217;s like, &#8216;Just do your job, you&#8217;ll be fine&#8217;. &#8220;But I know for a fact she once bollocked Alan Clark so hard that he [...]]]></description>
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