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	<title>The Daily Mash &#187; Celebrity</title>
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		<title>Britain &#8216;incredibly proud&#8217; of man who fell out of building</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/britain-incredibly-proud-of-man-who-fell-out-of-building-2013061772486</link>
		<pubDate>Mon, 17 Jun 2013 10:30:37 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[BRITAIN is still a world-leader at producing people who can fall out of buildings, it has been confirmed.]]></description>
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		<title>Murdoch divorce after wife discovers pentagram</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/murdoch-divorce-after-wife-discovers-pentagram-2013061472265</link>
		<pubDate>Fri, 14 Jun 2013 09:27:20 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[RUPERT Murdoch and his wife are to divorce after she stumbled across a pentagram painted in blood in the basement of their New York mansion.]]></description>
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		<title>Dalai Lama announces hair transplant</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/dalai-lama-announces-hair-transplant-2013061071476</link>
		<pubDate>Mon, 10 Jun 2013 08:47:07 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[News Briefly Box]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[TIBET&#8217;S spiritual leader is to have a hair replacement operation. The Dalai Lama said: &#8220;I saw some pictures of Wayne Rooney&#8217;s latest work and I thought, wow, he looks so much younger with a restored hairline. &#8220;It&#8217;s hard to focus on spiritual teachings and the cause of the Tibetan people when you don&#8217;t feel confident [...]]]></description>
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		<title>BBC newsreaders stalked by Queen for fifth time in a fortnight</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/bbc-newsreaders-stalked-by-queen-for-fifth-time-in-a-fortnight-2013060871355</link>
		<pubDate>Sat, 08 Jun 2013 13:57:29 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[TWO BBC newsreaders have claimed the Queen is following them.]]></description>
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		<title>Pippa Middleton appointed gore editor of Fangoria magazine</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/pippa-middleton-appointed-gore-editor-of-fangoria-magazine-2013060671192</link>
		<pubDate>Thu, 06 Jun 2013 09:21:29 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[News Briefly Box]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[PIPPA Middleton has landed yet another journalistic appointment, as gore editor of US horror magazine Fangoria. Pippa&#8217;s role will involve watching notorious horror films like Nightmare in a Damaged Brain and describing the best murders. She said: &#8220;I&#8217;m really passionate about graphically violent horror films, especially really sleazy low budget ones where people cut their [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Royal family grudgingly arrives for yet more of this bullshit</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/royal-family-grudgingly-arrives-for-yet-more-of-this-bullshit-2013060470840</link>
		<pubDate>Tue, 04 Jun 2013 10:06:23 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity]]></category>
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		<description><![CDATA[ROYALS have grudgingly arrived at Westminster Abbey for yet another tedious family event. Prince Andrew muttered under his breath: &#8220;It&#8217;s like every frigging day I have to go to a massive church.&#8221; Prince Edward replied: &#8220;I&#8217;m not going to another one this year, I&#8217;ve told them. Boundaries, you have to set boundaries.&#8221; Other members of [...]]]></description>
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		<title>This is all your fault, Will Smith tells son</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/this-is-all-your-fault-will-smith-tells-son-2013060370669</link>
		<pubDate>Mon, 03 Jun 2013 09:18:43 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Featured]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[WILL Smith has branded his son a 'useless little toad' after the failure of their science fiction film.]]></description>
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		<title>Catherine Zeta-Jones&#8217;s mother &#8216;catatonic&#8217;</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/catherine-zeta-joness-mother-catatonic-2013060370642</link>
		<pubDate>Mon, 03 Jun 2013 08:30:28 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[News Briefly Box]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[THE mother of Catherine Zeta-Jones has been sitting motionless in a chair with her eyes and mouth wide open for the last 18 hours. Patricia Jones entered a catatonic state yesterday after reading an interview with her son-in-law Michael Douglas in which the actor said his throat cancer was caused by licking the vagina of [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Modern-day Jesus &#8216;would go around making computers work&#8217;</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/modern-day-jesus-would-go-around-making-computers-work-2013053170470</link>
		<pubDate>Fri, 31 May 2013 07:52:36 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[IF Jesus were alive today he would travel from place to place doing IT miracles, it has been claimed.]]></description>
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		<title>Men still have feelings for Gillian Anderson</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/men-still-have-feelings-for-gillian-anderson-2013052970264</link>
		<pubDate>Wed, 29 May 2013 08:01:47 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[BRITAIN'S men never really got over Gillian Anderson, it has emerged.]]></description>
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		<title>Michael Bublé unable to do up a tie</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/michael-buble-unable-to-do-up-a-tie-2013052369818</link>
		<pubDate>Thu, 23 May 2013 09:52:31 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[CANADIAN crooner Michael Bublé is incapable of doing up a tie.]]></description>
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		<title>George Michael &#8216;surprisingly good at parallel parking&#8217;</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/george-michael-surprisingly-good-at-parallel-parking-2013052269721</link>
		<pubDate>Wed, 22 May 2013 11:28:40 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[News Briefly Box]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[HIGHWAY Code-averse pop star George Michael is a tight, efficient parallel parker, it has emerged. The Wham! legend, who has a chequered motoring history, was seen reversing his Range Rover into a spot described by onlookers as &#8220;tighter than a cat&#8217;s arse&#8221;. 27-year-old bystander Nikki Hollis said: &#8220;We were all like, &#8216;that&#8217;s George Michael, he&#8217;s [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Retired footballers start tropical detective agency</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/retired-footballers-start-tropical-detective-agency-2013052169505</link>
		<pubDate>Tue, 21 May 2013 08:12:12 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[FORMER Premier League players have joined forces to fight crime in exotic locations.]]></description>
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		<item>
		<title>Kevin McCloud lives on new-build estate</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/kevin-mccloud-lives-on-new-build-estate-2013052069381</link>
		<pubDate>Mon, 20 May 2013 10:25:50 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[<em>GRAND Designs</em> presenter Kevin McCloud lives on an estate called The Glades, it has emerged.]]></description>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Brad Pitt had testicles removed seven years ago</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/brad-pitt-had-testicles-removed-seven-years-ago-2013051468591</link>
		<pubDate>Tue, 14 May 2013 08:01:45 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[BRAD Pitt has revealed he had his testicles surgically removed seven years ago.]]></description>
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		<title>Prince Charles injured by heavy irony</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/charles-injured-by-heavy-irony-2013051068183</link>
		<pubDate>Fri, 10 May 2013 08:29:37 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[PRINCE Charles is recovering in hospital after a big lump of science-related irony hit him on the head.]]></description>
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		<title>Charles to become Queen</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/charles-to-become-queen-2013050968070</link>
		<pubDate>Thu, 09 May 2013 10:05:08 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[FORMER Prince Charles has mixed feelings about his new role as the Queen, it has emerged.]]></description>
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		<title>Apprentice contestants fail &#8216;don&#8217;t be twats&#8217; challenge</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/apprentice-contestants-fail-dont-be-twats-challenge-2013050867840</link>
		<pubDate>Wed, 08 May 2013 09:50:41 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[News Briefly Box]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[CONTENDERS on BBC1&#8242;s The Apprentice have unanimously failed a task where they were asked to not behave like twats. &#8216;Sirralan&#8217; Sugar split the hopefuls into two teams and told them, &#8220;Just sit there and don&#8217;t do anything twattish, for five fucking minutes.&#8221; But within six seconds they were talking over each other, being pointlessly aggressive [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Ex-pope still hanging around Vatican annoying everyone</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/ex-pope-still-hanging-around-vatican-annoying-everyone-2013050367544</link>
		<pubDate>Fri, 03 May 2013 10:44:23 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[EX-POPE Benedict is seriously getting under people’s feet at the Vatican, say cardinals.]]></description>
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		<title>I am just dreadful, admits Paltrow</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/i-am-just-dreadful-admits-paltrow-2013050267487</link>
		<pubDate>Thu, 02 May 2013 13:32:14 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[GWYNETH Paltrow has admitted she is jaw-droppingly ghastly and awful.]]></description>
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