Fergie sprog to marry some spiv

ONE of Fergie’s kids, the one with the slightly vacant expression, is to marry a spiv, apparently.

The kid, who is maybe called Hermione or Jocasta, will get married in the autumn and it will be on the telly.

She will be given away by her dad who plays a lot of golf and hangs out with some very dodgy geezers.

Experts said her mum, Fergie Ferguson, the ginger one who got her toe sucked by an American, will no doubt be all over this like a fucking rash.

It is understood the groom has an expensive complexion and runs a pub.

So there you go.