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Gorilla mother faces backlash following c-section birth

A BRISTOL Zoo-based gorilla mother is under fire after it was claimed she made no effort to have a natural birth.

Western lowland gorilla Kera gave birth via Caesarian section, prompting widespread social media condemnation.

Mother-of-two Mary Fisher said: “It’s easy to get carried away because baby gorillas are cute, but if Kera was any sort of mother she’d have opted for a natural delivery, like a water birth with candles and some early Cat Stevens.

“Those c-section females are all the same, whatever the species. I bet she partied like a washed-up rock star from the first trimester onwards.”

Internet forum participant Joanna Kramer said: “Technically she’s a Western lowland gorilla, but Western lowlife is more like it.

“Too posh to push and she was puffing away on her Monarch 100s and texting her mates during the entire operation. Once the baby was out she didn’t even try to breastfeed, she just did shots of Jager and played Paddy Power Bingo.

“There’s no way I’d leave my own kids with her.”

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Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

Aquarius (20 JAN-19 FEB)
On Friday, a longstanding question is put to rest when Alex Jones writes back to say no, she would never do that with anyone. Good to have it finally settled. 

Pisces (20 FEB-20 MAR)
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Aries (21 MAR-19 APRIL)
Patiently, you await the first signs of spring: daffodils, birds in song, farmers spraying banks with manure, the new series of Game of Thrones. 

Taurus (20 APRIL–20 MAY)
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Gemini (21 MAY-20 JUN)
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Cancer (21 JUN-22 JUL)
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Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG)
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Virgo (23 AUG-22 SEP)
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Scorpio (24 OCT-21 NOV)
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Sagittarius (22 NOV-21 DEC)
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Capricorn (22 DEC-19 JAN)
You’re proud to say you feature in one of Aesop’s fables, The Goat and the Other Goat. It’s not one of the main ones. It’s kind of one for the fans. 

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