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I'LL FEED ANYTHING THAT MOVES, SAYS GARRAWAY |
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TV presenter Kate Garraway last night pledged to pump her milk into anything that can suck it.
 Would you like us to leave the room? Garraway, who has made a documentary about adopting a baby cow, said she wished every mammal in the world could enjoy a few minutes at her fulsome, bulging nipples.
The GMTV star added: "Cows are my heroes. I want to be milked twice a day.
"I want to wander in from the fields, get down on all fours, have those big suction cups attached to my udders and then moo gently while they pump the goodness out of me.
"And I want my mummy juice to be sold in big plastic bottles with a lovely illustration of me with a dandelion in the corner of my mouth." The TV star said Garraway Farms would offer full-cream and semi-skimmed milk, a rich, mature cheddar, a range of organic fruit yoghurts and a gooey, brie-like substance. "In the meantime I'm happy to suckle random children up to the age of 16, or anything else you happen to have handy. "Pigs, donkeys or perhaps a thirsty traffic warden with a calcium deficiency."
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