Jordan's writers to kill off Alex Reid

18-01-11

THE writing team behind Jordan is considering killing Alex Reid amid
concerns the story is becoming too complex for its target
demographic.

Unlikely to return as his evil twin

In the current storyline, the model has ditched her cross-dressing cage fighter husband after she intimidated his sperm, clearing the way for a new male lead, probably a boxer.

But her writers fear it was a mistake to keep a second ex-partner alive.

Script supervisor, Wayne Hayes, said: “We decided to keep Alex around so we could maybe do a sub-plot involving a failed transvestite heist with Essex gangsters.

“But with a new Peter Andre love story and a Kerry Katona revelation planned for next week, we’ve simply got too many balls in the air.

“Plus he was never a popular character in the first place, except with small children and sexually confused bouncers.”

The team are now discussing a number of death options.

Hayes added: “We’ve got this idea that Jordan turns her house into a sort of personal wildlife park for Harvey, with genetically-tweaked pink grass.

“Broken-hearted Alex scales the perimeter fence with a bunch of daffodils and a mid-sized box of Terry’s All Gold, but his stiletto gets hooked in the mesh and he ends up dangling helplessly upside down while timber wolves tear at his liver.

“It certainly has impact and could help pull in pet food sponsors.”

The Jordan concept was created in 1979 by a shadowy group of stocky elderly men known only as ‘The Sigil’, who make everything from electrical tape to perfume and are above the law.

 

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