Letting Prince Andrew do something turns out to be bad idea
GIVING Prince Andrew a high-profile public role has somehow failed to be a success, it has emerged.
Officials have admitted that appointing the Prince as the UK’s trade envoy has led to the country being humiliated on the international stage thanks to an ever-lengthening list of hideously embarrassing circumstances.
But they have insisted the decision to appoint the Prince was made in good faith as at that point there was only a 70-90% chance he would become mixed-up with gangsters and sleazy, billionaire sex offenders who would also put the cherry on the cake by bailing out his crazy, bankrupt ex-wife.
A Foreign Office source said: “It’s very sad because when he was offered it we all thought he must be the right man for the job.
“He was after all a leading a member of the Royal Family while the only thing counting against him was a well-documented penchant for free-loading oafishness and a catastrophic lack of judgement.
“It’s just so difficult to pinpoint where it went wrong.”
The source added: “When we first met him he was very gracious and enthusiastic and thanked us for bolting the helicopter landing pad onto the side of the building.
“We then offered him the job and he flashed us that winning smile and simply said ‘golf… I like golf… will there be golf?’.
“We said that yes there would and then he went round the room asking everyone if they would like to buy his house.
“Oh well. Live and learn”