Mark Wahlberg confirmed as god of incredibly average men

23-08-17

UNINTERESTING men have hailed Mark Wahlberg as their god.

Wahlberg, who has slightly less screen presence than Roly from Grange Hill, earned $68 million last year from a series of shit films, mostly about massive robots.

Run-of-the-mill bloke Tom Logan, 35, said: “I have always felt criminally under-represented in film and television because I am about as interesting as a microwave instruction manual.

“But the humdrum have been marginalised for too long. Mark Wahlberg’s success is a beacon of hope for those of us who have been lightly beaten with the averageness stick.

“I will go forth into the world now with a new sense of confidence. If Wahlberg can earn a shitload of money by mumbling at a camera, then I can do it to by being an IT solutions support specialist.”

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