New Series Of Strictly Come Dancing To Be Filmed At Bottom Of Barrel

29-08-08

THE new series of Strictly Come Dancing is to be recorded at the bottom of a large barrel, the BBC confirmed last night.

One of them may know Christopher Biggins

The corporation is currently scrubbing down the inside of the barrel which was found tipped over in its side at a disused gas works on the outskirts of Derby.

But this time next month it will be filled with 16 of the country's most familiar faces that you can't quite put a name to.

This year's Strictly Come Dancers include a teenage singing sensation who is now in her mid-twenties, Christopher Biggins' co-star from On Safari and some guy who plays rugby or possibly snooker.

TV critic Tom Logan said: "It's getting to the point where they may as well just use ordinary people. However, I would be willing to watch if they cut the arse out of Rachel Stevens' dress."

This year's barrel dancers include:

Don Warrington: The first black man to appear on British television. Overcame racist landlord to become boss of his own coffee plantation.

Jessie Wallace: Britain's favourite gypsy.

Phil Daniels: Starred in Quadrophenia. Kidnapped by aliens. Starred in Blur video. Kidnapped by aliens again.

John Sergeant: Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

Cheri Lunghi: Named best actress at the 1992 Coffee Advert Awards. May also have been 'Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman'.

Jodie Kidd: Tall, well-spoken girl who likes golf and cocaine.

Gary Rhodes: A television chef who is neither Gordon Ramsay nor Jamie Oliver.

Lisa Snowdon: The star of www.lisasnowdon.com

Tom Chambers: Absolutely no idea. The Bill?