Celebrity

Zara baby to trigger civil war

THE announcement of a rival royal baby means that full-scale civil war is now inevitable.

Kate Moss designs range of nuclear missiles

SUPERMODEL Kate Moss has designed a range of nuclear missiles for style-conscious governments.

Popeye strong to the finish because of monkey hormone injections

SAILOR Popeye has admitted that his immense upper body strength is not the result of a spinach-heavy diet.

I love money, says Queen

THE best thing about being monarch is the huge amount of money you get, the Queen has confirmed.

Everyone at fancy wedding is fabulous

EVERYONE who attended the society wedding of the year is completely fantastic in every way.

Heaven hit by mysterious fires

A SPATE of restaurant fires in Heaven has been linked to Tony Soprano.