TOP Gear lynchpin Jeremy Clarkson is to sue Ricky Gervais for trying to steal his personality.
MORRISSEY the Singer is to sue himself after things he said made people think he might be a bit racist.
SIR Paul McCartney last night toasted his new bride saying, 'I really hope you're not a complete nutcase'.
MICHAEL Jackson's doctor has gone on trial accused of making him weirder than a bald cat.
PRINCE Philip has asked his staff to find out what kind of car England Rugby captain Mike Tindall is currently driving.
ROYAL aides have confirmed that Prince Charles is to give up his role as heir to the throne to pursue a career as a mouth-foaming prophet of doom.
CHANNEL 4's How To Look Good Naked is a ruse for the secretly straight Gok Wan to involve himself with female body parts, it has emerged.
BRITAIN may finally be stirred into the violent overthrow of its financial and political systems after seeing photographs from last night's GQ Men of the Year awards.