Celebrity

Taylor Swift betrayed to Roman authorities by disciple

TAYLOR Swift has been arrested by Roman soldiers after one of her 59.2 million Twitter followers betrayed her location.

Kevin Bacon not sure if everyone laughing with him or at him

ACTOR Kevin Bacon is unsure if he is seen as a cultural icon or a bit of a dick.

Boris Johnson lobs grenade through taxi window

THE Mayor of London has been filmed pulling a pin from a grenade with his teeth, throwing it into a black cab and cycling away before it explodes.

Chris Evans combing through giant address book of knobheads

NEW Top Gear presenter Chris Evans is trying to decide which of his sycophantic pals will join him as co-presenters.

Hippies have ruined my reputation, says Stonehenge

STONEHENGE is sick of being linked with hippies and wants to rebrand itself as a destination for cool people.

Magna Carta ‘not as good as latest Prince George photos'

THE Magna Carta is shit compared to the latest photos of Prince George, it has been agreed.

Queen's new car has gun mounted on it

THE Queen’s new open-topped  Range Rover has a machine gun on the rear at her personal request.

Butter fans accuse John Lydon of selling out

FANS of Country Life butter have accused their hero John Lydon of selling his soul to corporate consumerism.