CHERYL Cole has described her marriage to a Frenchman as ‘perfect’, because they have no idea what they are saying to each other.
THE death of Tommy Ramone has left most people who wear Ramones t-shirts emotionally unaffected.
IRISH fans of country star Garth Brooks have been offered a stout BBC pundit as a replacement.
ACTOR George Clooney may break the habit of a lifetime and switch from the Daily Mail to the Daily Express.
THE prime minister has hosted a drinks party honouring the economic contribution made by the country's twats.
CHRISTIAN Bale has become permanently stuck in character as a gifted yet pretentious actor.
THE Queen’s visit to the Game of Thrones set in Belfast was dominated by detailed questions about the show’s sexual content.
WRITER Jeanette Winterson secretly enjoyed a delicious cat-based lunch, it has emerged.