TAYLOR Swift has been arrested by Roman soldiers after one of her 59.2 million Twitter followers betrayed her location.
ACTOR Kevin Bacon is unsure if he is seen as a cultural icon or a bit of a dick.
THE Mayor of London has been filmed pulling a pin from a grenade with his teeth, throwing it into a black cab and cycling away before it explodes.
NEW Top Gear presenter Chris Evans is trying to decide which of his sycophantic pals will join him as co-presenters.
STONEHENGE is sick of being linked with hippies and wants to rebrand itself as a destination for cool people.
THE Magna Carta is shit compared to the latest photos of Prince George, it has been agreed.
THE Queen’s new open-topped Range Rover has a machine gun on the rear at her personal request.
FANS of Country Life butter have accused their hero John Lydon of selling his soul to corporate consumerism.