Celebrity

Beckham still less of a prick than other footballers

DAVID Beckham's hacked emails have revealed that he is far less of a prick than most footballers.

Media still unable to find photo of Trump looking even vaguely normal

NEWS outlets are unable to find a picture of Donald Trump where he doesn't look like an absolute maniac, it has been confirmed.

Radio 4 listener to spend whole of Desert Island Discs pretending not to know who Beckham is

A RADIO 4 listener is to feign puzzlement about David Beckham’s identity throughout his appearance on Desert Island Discs.

It should never have been written or released, says Trump about Shane Richie's autobiography

DONALD Trump has slammed the writing and release of Shane Richie's autobiography From Rags to Richie.

I am a ponce, admits Hiddleston

ACTOR Tom Hiddleston has apologised for being a massive ponce.

I’m sick of being your f**king punchline, Michael Fish tells Britain

MICHAEL Fish is sick of being a byword for fucking up and you can all sod off, the infamous weatherman has declared.

Genuinely puzzled Keith Richards survives 2016

ROLLING Stones legend Keith Richards has expressed his genuine surprise at surviving 2016.

'You are the most expendable part of this', says voice in Richard Hammond's head

THE voice inside Richard Hammond’s head has reminded him he is easily the most expendable part of Jeremy Clarkson’s TV entourage.