Clarkson sues Gervais for schtick theft

TOP Gear lynchpin Jeremy Clarkson is to sue Ricky Gervais for trying to steal his personality.

Morrissey to sue himself

MORRISSEY the Singer is to sue himself after things he said made people think he might be a bit racist.

McCartney hoping this one isn't mad

SIR Paul McCartney last night toasted his new bride saying, 'I really hope you're not a complete nutcase'.

Jackson's doctor accused of making him weird

MICHAEL Jackson's doctor has gone on trial accused of making him weirder than a bald cat.

What kind of car does Tindall drive? asks Prince Philip

PRINCE Philip has asked his staff to find out what kind of car England Rugby captain Mike Tindall is currently driving.

Prince Charles to grow enormous beard

ROYAL aides have confirmed that Prince Charles is to give up his role as heir to the throne to pursue a career as a mouth-foaming prophet of doom.

Gok Wan revealed as crafty heterosexual

CHANNEL 4's How To Look Good Naked is a ruse for the secretly straight Gok Wan to involve himself with female body parts, it has emerged.

GQ awards to trigger violent revolution

BRITAIN may finally be stirred into the violent overthrow of its financial and political systems after seeing photographs from last night's GQ Men of the Year awards.