BRITAIN may finally be stirred into the violent overthrow of its financial and political systems after seeing photographs from last night's GQ Men of the Year awards.
WINDSOR Castle has attracted record visitor numbers to an exhibition featuring Pippa Middleton's used underpants.
TONY Blair has pledged to school his god-daughter in the ancient ways of dishonesty.
TWITTER is now 14 percent cleverer after the addition of Cheryl Cole.
SIR Richard Branson's mother is head over heels in love with dashing actress Kate Winslet.
THE new Celebrity Big Brother house has emerged like a glorious phoenix from England's shattered capital.
PRINCE William has continued creeping out the entire nation by giving his new wife a 1980s-style blonde wig.
THE Duke of Cambridge has abandoned his wife after bonding with an erotically-shaped coconut, it has emerged.