Celebrity

Jordan's writers to kill off Alex Reid

THE writing team behind Jordan is considering killing Alex Reid amid concerns the story is becoming too complex for its target demographic.

Hollywood stars raise awareness for their stupid, childish jobs

HOLLYWOOD shone like a dazzling beacon of breathtaking glamour last night as a series of pathological narcissists made speeches about how important their pathetic jobs are.

Britain to celebrate Royal wedding with massive fight

THE ban on street brawling will be lifted temporarily for the royal wedding to allow celebratory fighting, it has been confirmed.

Cheryl enjoys steamy holiday with Gerry Anderson puppet

CHERYL Cole and Captain Steve Zodiac of Fireball XL-5 have been all over each in South Africa.

Billy Bragg has absolutely gigantic house

YOU would not believe the size of Billy Bragg's house, it emerged last night.

Sheridan facing three-in-a-bed sex sessions whether he likes it or not

TOMMY Sheridan was today facing the prospect of endless three-in-a-bed sex sessions with a variety of eager new friends.

Brian Thompson named Butcher And Meat Wholesaler's 'man of the year'

BRIAN Thompson, the Grantham butcher who set up a website, has been chosen as 'Man of the Year' by Butcher and Meat Wholesaler magazine.

Hurley to decapitate warne after intercourse

LIZ Hurley has announced the imminent closure of her relationship with Shane Warne.