Kate and Hilary team up to punch Britain in the mouth

HILARY Mantel and the Duchess of Cambridge have come together to shut Britain's stupid face.

'Any time, any place' Duchess tells novelist

IF Booker prize winner Hilary Mantel wants a piece of the Duchess of Cambridge, she can have it, St James's Palace has confirmed.

Paxman dispensing vigilante cleverness

JEREMY Paxman has a vigilante alter ego called 'Clever Man'.

Bikini photos show Kate's massive buttocks

NEW paparazzi photos of the Duchess of Cambridge show that her buttocks are now huge.

Supply Pope hasn't even read the Bible

JOSEPH Ratzinger has been temporarily replaced by an incompetent supply Pope, it has emerged.

Pope headhunted by Satan

POPE Benedict XVI is leaving his post at the Vatican to work for the devil.