PRINCE William has spoken of his joy at becoming a father.
THE Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have been told to do new photos of Prince George because the first lot are dreadful.
PRINCE Harry has called for a global landmine ban insisting they are a waste of time compared to his multi-million pound helicopter of death.
THE royal baby is growing at an alarming rate.
INCREASINGLY deranged gossip magazine OK! is to begin covering the love lives and confessions of celebrities post-mortem.
RAPPER Wiley has been turned into a heifer by the witches of Cumbria.
THE name of the new royal baby is a reflection of his parents' deepest passions, it has been confirmed.