Ex-pope still hanging around Vatican annoying everyone

EX-POPE Benedict is seriously getting under people’s feet at the Vatican, say cardinals.

I am just dreadful, admits Paltrow

GWYNETH Paltrow has admitted she is jaw-droppingly ghastly and awful.

Richard Dawkins and God to star in 70s-style sitcom

RICHARD Dawkins is the star of a new sitcom where his wife secretly takes in God as a lodger.

London does my head in, says reanimated Dr Johnson

THE newly-reanimated 18th century writer Dr Johnson is not enjoying modern London.

Queen 'landed with a sickening crunch'

THE Queen has suffered extensive injuries after being repeatedly thrown into the air during birthday celebrations.

Women 'not manly enough for Formula One'

WOMEN are not sufficiently manly to be racing drivers, according to Stirling Moss.