EX-POPE Benedict is seriously getting under people’s feet at the Vatican, say cardinals.
GWYNETH Paltrow has admitted she is jaw-droppingly ghastly and awful.
RICHARD Dawkins is the star of a new sitcom where his wife secretly takes in God as a lodger.
THE newly-reanimated 18th century writer Dr Johnson is not enjoying modern London.
THE Queen has suffered extensive injuries after being repeatedly thrown into the air during birthday celebrations.
WOMEN are not sufficiently manly to be racing drivers, according to Stirling Moss.