Daily Mail wins monopoly on alluring teens

MAIL Online is celebrating a victory against Google which leaves it the number one internet resource for underage images.

Prince Charles 'an inspiration to people who've wasted their lives'

THE Prince of Wales has been hailed as a hero by people who feel they've done nothing with their lives.

Richard Dawkins forbids giving his books as Christmas presents

RICHARD Dawkins has threatened punitive action against anyone giving or receiving his books for Christmas.

Kate changes hair, face and flees country

THE Duchess of Cambridge has followed up her new hairstyle with radical cosmetic surgery and a new name.

Bieber fandom just a cruel prank

MILLIONS of young girls just pretended to like Justin Bieber as an evil joke, it has emerged.

Clarkson to guest-edit Guardian

JEREMY Clarkson will be guest editor of the Guardian for a week, the newspaper has announced.

Of course I smoke crack, says Boris

BORIS Johnson has admitted being 'on the pipe'.

Esther Rantzen present throughout human history

ESTHER Rantzen has been present at every key moment in human history, it has emerged.