EVERYONE who has watched the Kerry Katona sex tape has died mysteriously within a week, it was claimed yesterday.
MODEL and TV presenter Alexa Chung is to become the face of boiled pigs' intestines, it was announced last night.
THE Queen is to put some balls in her mouth for the first time in more than 50 years, Buckingham Palace has confirmed.
BRITAIN was last night trying desperately not to think about what Katie Price branded perfume actually smells like.
A NEW 24-hour telephone helpline has been launched to fill the gaps in Britain's rolling Christine Bleakley requirements.
VICTORIA Beckham has been fitted with the brain of an alcoholic physics genius, it has been confirmed.
BRITNEY Spears is to be frozen in a tube until pop standards decline sufficiently for her to relaunch her career, it was confirmed last night.