TONY Blair has pledged to school his god-daughter in the ancient ways of dishonesty.
TWITTER is now 14 percent cleverer after the addition of Cheryl Cole.
SIR Richard Branson's mother is head over heels in love with dashing actress Kate Winslet.
THE new Celebrity Big Brother house has emerged like a glorious phoenix from England's shattered capital.
PRINCE William has continued creeping out the entire nation by giving his new wife a 1980s-style blonde wig.
THE Duke of Cambridge has abandoned his wife after bonding with an erotically-shaped coconut, it has emerged.
BRITAIN’S tosspots are still chattering away about their total disinterest in David Beckham’s new range of child.
THE Duchess of Cambridge will continue her tour of Canada today by devouring a gigantic moose.