Receptionist shocked to discover sidebar fame

A 22-YEAR-OLD Londoner has been amazed to find more than a hundred stories about her weight, dress sense and love life on the Daily Mail's website.

Yoda: Corporate bitch I now am

ONCE-GREAT Jedi Master Yoda will flog anything for cash, it has emerged.

Jordan’s hand in marriage to avert war

PEOPLE'S princess Jordan has agreed to marry Argentinian Leandro Penna
to prevent war between his country and the British Empire.

Palace unveils new uses for Harry

BUCKINGHAM Palace has unveiled 12 new things that Prince Harry can do to make himself useful.

Jimmy Savile’s corpse collection up for auction

THE collection of stuffed humans owned by the late Sir Jimmy Savile, rated as one of the finest in the world, is to be sold at auction.

Gregg Wallace splits from long-term pudding

MASTERCHEF host Gregg Wallace has left the home he shared with a live-in crumble.

Bill Roache had sex with same 1,000 women as Mick Hucknall

CORONATION Street actor Bill Roache and Simply Red frontman Mick Hucknall have bedded the same 1,000 women, it has been confirmed.

Archaeologists killed by vampire Jesus

THE immortal vampire Jesus is on the rampage again after a team of excavators disturbed his ancient coffin.