Celebrity

Clean Up The Queen aims to stop monarch’s filthy language

THE Clean Up The Queen campaign is enlisting the public’s help to stop Her Majesty cursing like a drunken sailor.

DiCaprio’s face frozen in self-satisfied smirk

DOCTORS are fighting to remove the smug half-smile from Leonardo DiCaprio’s face, it has emerged.

We knew about Jimmy Savile all along, admits entire UK population

EVERY man, woman and child in the UK knew that Jimmy Savile was a sexual predator for 30 years, it has emerged.

Clarkson apologises to cold food

JEREMY Clarkson has officially apologised to cold cuts and salads after saying they were not good enough for him.

Gorilla mother faces backlash following c-section birth

A BRISTOL Zoo-based gorilla mother is under fire after it was claimed she made no effort to have a natural birth.

Noam Chomsky steps aside to make way for Russell Brand

THE world’s most renowned left-wing thinker has decided to retire following Russell Brand’s latest online rant, it has been confirmed.

Derren Brown has hooves instead of feet

DERREN Brown has goat-like hooves because of doing black magic, it has emerged.

Duchess of Cambridge to guest edit Crafty Carper

AFTER spending yesterday guest editing the Huffington Post, Kate Middleton will today act as guest editor of Crafty Carper magazine