Celebrity

BBC accused of cock ring bias

ALL male BBC presenters have some form of penis adornment, it has emerged.

Cole marriage ‘perfect’ because they can’t understand each other

CHERYL Cole has described her marriage to a Frenchman as ‘perfect’, because they have no idea what they are saying to each other.

99 per cent of Ramones t-shirt owners not upset

THE death of Tommy Ramone has left most people who wear Ramones t-shirts emotionally unaffected.

Ireland offered Garth Crooks instead

IRISH fans of country star Garth Brooks have been offered a stout BBC pundit as a replacement.

Clooney considers switching to Daily Express

ACTOR George Clooney may break the habit of a lifetime and switch from the Daily Mail to the Daily Express.

Glittering reception celebrates Britain's biggest twats

THE prime minister has hosted a drinks party honouring the economic contribution made by the country's twats.

Christian Bale stuck in character as himself

CHRISTIAN Bale has become permanently stuck in character as a gifted yet pretentious actor.

Queen intensely interested in Game of Thrones sex scenes

THE Queen’s visit to the Game of Thrones set in Belfast was dominated by detailed questions about the show’s sexual content.