Celebrity

Dog apology video ‘is best Johnny Depp film in a decade’

JOHNNY Depp’s string of poor career choices has ended with a captivating short film about why it is wrong to smuggle dogs into Australia.

Duchess creates ‘new memories’ for William’s ex-girlfriends

A POIGNANT photo at the Taj Mahal has given the Duchess of Cambridge a fresh opportunity to tell her husband’s exes to eat it.

William and Kate prevent imminent war with Bhutan

BRITAIN and Bhutan have moved back from the brink of war after a visit by the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge.

Thousands of Boris supporters don’t know his surname

ONLY 13 percent of people who support Boris Johnson are aware that his surname is Johnson.

Bono: Surely this is the stupidest shit I’ve ever said

BONO proudly believes his claim that comedians should be sent to fight ISIS to be his most dumbshit pronouncement yet.

We’ll celebrate your birthday if we get a day off, Britain tells Queen

THE UK has told the Queen it will celebrate her 90th birthday if she gives everyone a day off work.

I'm just a metaphor for sex, realises Easter Bunny

THE Easter Bunny has expressed shock and disgust that he's just some weird metaphor for sex.

Chutney went straight in bin, Queen confirms

A CHRISTMAS gift of homemade chutney from the Duchess of Cambridge was treated with the contempt it deserved, says the Queen.