Celebrity

William Seizes Cocaine Bound For Fulham Road

PRINCE William is facing a ban from some of his favourite Fulham Road nightclubs after his Royal Navy ship seized £40m worth of cocaine.

Madonna’s Former Home Destroyed By Jesus

POP star Madonna’s childhood home in Detroit has been burned to the ground in an apparent revenge attack by Jesus. 

Stars Gather To Show How Worthless They Are Compared To Nelson Mandela

SOME of the biggest names in showbiz have come together in London to prove how shabby and pointless they are compared to Nelson Mandela.

Celine Dion Voted 'Worst Ever Person'

CANADIAN songstress Celine Dion is the world's worst person ever, according to a new opinion poll.

Singleton Dares To Challenge Urban Myth

FORMER Blue Peter presenter Valerie Singleton was under attack last night after insisting she was not a raving lesbian.

Africans Thrilled For Wayne And Coleen

MILLIONS of malnourished Africans yesterday sent a telegram of congratulations to Wayne Rooney and his bride Coleen following their £5m wedding celebration.

My Daughter Has Fantastic Tits, Says Fergie

SARAH Ferguson yesterday defended her eldest daughter insisting Princess Beatrice has developed an absolutely corking set of knockers.

Without Me You're Nothing, Queen Tells Happy Couple

THE Queen has told newly married grandson Peter Philips to hand over at least 10% of his £500,000 fee from Hello! magazine.