Celebrity

I Can Do A Terrible Scottish Accent Too, Says Laurie

HUGH Laurie has appealed to British casting directors insisting he can do regional accents that are 'every bit as dreadful' as the American one which has earned him millions of dollars. 

Lisa Marie Presley Expecting Big, Fat Baby

SINGER'S daughter Lisa Marie Presley is pregnant with an incredibly fat baby, she revealed last night. 

Paisley Quits To Spend More Time Heckling The Pope

IAN Paisley is to resign as Northern Ireland's first minister so he can devote more time to shouting abuse at the Pope.

Diana Jury Asks Coroner: Why Are We Here?

THE jury in the Diana inquest yesterday asked the coroner to remind them why they are there.

'I'm Just Like Any Other Millionaire Soldier Who Can Come Home Whenever He Wants'

ROYAL hero Prince Harry has spoken of his relief at being treated like an ordinary soldier who can come home whenever he feels like it.

Millionaires Give Each Other Awards For Dressing Up

IT is the biggest, most glamorous night of the year. It is the night when millionaires give each other awards for dressing up and pretending to be someone else.

Number Of BBC Presenters In Jail Reaches Five Year High

THE number of BBC presenters in prison has reached a five-year high after Radio 1 DJ Groovewhittler was jailed for a second offence of dog frottage. 

'Ich Bin Nicht Ein Nazi' Says Philip

PRINCE Philip has denied claims he is a Nazi, insisting his passionate racism is merely a hobby.