Carrie Fisher feelings resurface in 40-somethings

CONFUSING urges about Carrie Fisher have returned amongst middle-aged people after a 30-year absence.

Santa shaves beard to distance himself from hipsters

FATHER Christmas has shaved off his beard following concerns about its hipster connotations.

Zuckerberg regrets going on Facebook while drunk

MARK Zuckerberg’s Facebook announcement that he will give away 99 per cent of his wealth was the result of being shitfaced, he has revealed.

Nigella exhibiting signs of demonic possession

TV COOK Nigella Lawson is possessed by a demon, it has emerged.

Thatcher's clothes to be sold off to millionaire men who will wear them

BARONESS Thatcher's iconic outfits are to be auctioned off to old, rich men who will put them on in front of full-length mirrors.

Corbyn lacks my likeability, says Amis

NOVELIST Martin Amis has claimed that Jeremy Corbyn just isn’t likeable in the way that he is.

Beyonce 'older than current universe'

BEYONCE is more than 14 billion years old and survived the heat-death and collapse of a previous universe, it has emerged.

Jamie Oliver ‘heartbroken’ after thieves steal most of his herbs

JAMIE Oliver has appealed for the safe return of his favourite herbs after a break-in at his North London home.