Celebrity

Alec Baldwin is top priority, says international community

WORLD leaders have set aside their differences to focus on the well-being of Alec Baldwin.

Piers Morgan to interview volleyballs in his shed

PIERS Morgan will continue his glittering career by sitting in his shed, interviewing volleyballs with faces painted on them

Beyoncé 'surfing all wrong'

SURFING experts have condemned Beyoncé's technique of grinding her crotch against her surfboard.

Kate borrows Queen's necklace to get it valued

THE Duchess of Cambridge has borrowed a diamond necklace from the Queen to have it priced up at the pawnbrokers.

Davidson popularity leaves Britons worried they have entered parallel universe

BRITONS are concerned they have woken up in an alternate dimension after seeing crowds cheering Jim Davidson.

Tarantino sues himself for plagiarism

PULP Fiction director Quentin Tarantino is suing himself for writing a screenplay clearly derivative of his earlier work.

Palace to offer 'no frills' bed and breakfast

THE Queen is to offer bed and breakfast accommodation so that she can continue living in Buckingham Palace.

Prince Charles building up immunity to working classes

THE Prince of Wales is being exposed to the working classes twice daily to bolster his immune system before he takes the throne.