Celebrity

Wessexes excluded from christening for vol-au-vent theft

EDWARD and Sophie are not attending Prince George's christening because they stole canapés at his parents' wedding.

I live on my private island because it is private and an island, says Branson

SIR Richard Branson has revealed he lives most of the year on his private island because it is exactly that.

Thom Yorke warns isolated tribes about Spotify

RADIOHEAD singer Thom Yorke is visiting the world's remotest places to warn their inhabitants about Spotify.

Higgs spends Nobel money on pimped-out SUV

NOBEL Prize recipient Peter Higgs has spent his prize money on a customised lilac sports utility vehicle.

Iguana named sexiest lizard alive

THREE-YEAR-OLD iguana Nikki Hollis has been named sexiest lizard alive by men's magazine Esquire.

Mia Farrow 'impregnated by easy listening cult'

ACTRESS Mia Farrow has claimed she mysteriously fell pregnant during a ritual by a secret sect of easy listening fanatics.

Samantha Cameron calls off divorce

THE prime minister's wife has halted divorce proceedings after realising she'd lose a sweet £200-a-year tax break.

Dawkins memoir leaves out bit about Zeus creating him from clay

RICHARD Dawkins's autobiography controversially omits his creation by lightning on the slopes of Mount Olympus.